Bridezillas: At what point do you give up, ...

refund their money, and cut your losses?

Fortunately this has not happened yet but I've been close.

But, let's say you run into a bride or groom that is so difficult to deal with that you just see no way to please them and want out.

I know some of you will say that this should be uncovered in the interview but some just throw you a curve. They're all nice and eager in the interview but when the rubber meets the road the turn into the bride of Frankenstein.

The one I was close on had no concept of what a wedding was all about. She had never been to one. And then she and her husband-to-be couldn't agree on anything. He'd e-mail with one thing and then she'd e-mail with something 180 degrees from what I got from him. The only thing that kept me from bailing was the fact that he was being deployed a few days from the wedding. Fortunately it all worked out but I was pulling what little hair I have left out.

She also treated all her vendors poorly. She really is a spoiled little brat.

I have a gift for reading them unless Im the one getting sucked into the deal as the Groom my self LOL. I am better at DJing at a wedding than the do overs I have been through myself. Ive been with four Bridezillas I can smell em a mile away.

Tom - I was very close to dumping a client over the summer. I can';t really say that she was a "bridezilla," it was just the constant litany of changes and updates and hand-holding. And yes, at the interview they seemed to be two of the most laid-back people you'd ever want to meet...

But I muddled through and got the job done. I think when push comes to shove my interest in income overrides my interest in maintaining my blood-pressure...

Never had one, what is this Bridezilla everyone speaks about?

I think it has to do with me being a laid back kinda guy, the crazy brides don't book me cause we don't match.

All my brides are fun.

I guess I've been lucky, only one that was close, well the venue manager actually called her that during the reception, not to her, but to me.

The other closest that I came in contact with was really a MOBridezilla, she was a big time control freak. She was even insisting that I tell her when and where the next wedding reception I was dj'ing was so she could come she my setup and my performance. I explained that just couldn't happen, and ask her how she would like if it I brought a client to "her" reception. During a meeting at the venue she got up from the table to go chase down the venue staff to ask them a few things. The bride even mentioned her mother was a control freak. The B&G seems very nice. I adjusted my quote for pain and suffering, never heard back from them.

Tom,

Maybe it's us... but we've never turned away from a contracted client, no matter how difficult he or she may have seemed.

If they change things around to the point where a new contract is called for and we're not comfy with the new requirements, that's different.

Otherwise, we're in it for the duration. We're under contract. We've got a show to do so let's do the show. If they got a problem, sorry 'bout your luck. You've had more time to prepare for this gig than we have. Saving people from their own damned incompetence isn't in my contract.

We got our act together here tonight like we said we would. What's wrong with you all? We've kept our end of the bargain. It's all right here on paper. If you screw up, that's on you.

Bridezilla, bah. That's kid stuff. Wolfie's from the old school... they ain't seen nuttin' yet. Give me any chit and I'll lay it out for ya. :)

Never had one, what is this Bridezilla everyone speaks about?

I think it has to do with me being a laid back kinda guy, the crazy brides don't book me cause we don't match.

All my brides are fun.

Exact same way.

I never really had one either.

I did have a bride/groom try to pull that crap that Tom described on me once, but I put a stop to it really quick.

I simply told them both that I would only deal with one of them and only through email. That put an end to it real quick, because when the groom would try to email me changes, I simply would email him back explaining that the only changes I would recognize had to come from the bride's email.

Good thread, Tom!!!

This happened to me last summer.......when the Bridezilla insisted on having me play a bunch of Backstreet Boys & boy band songs for the Wedding Party intros.

I could see the look on people's faces: this was in SF where cheese isn't appreciated, even in jest.

People hate Boy Band songs.....they aren't even tongue-in-cheek funny any more!

When I received the CDR in the mail, with the intro tracks...I was seriously considering to BAIL on them (not really.....I was going to trade with my other DJ, basically swapping gigs).

Decided to stick with the couple.....even though my instincts told me otherwise.
The bride was a classic Bridezilla....spoiled rotten.

I had only dealt with the groom prior to the wedding day. So this was basically a case of my going in blind (except for the Backstreet Boys clue).

To avoid such occurences in the future......my "NO CHEESE" page has the Backstreet Boys on the list of cheesy songs. We'll still play them if requested, but can substitute one of my other DJs if I find out ahead of time.

I've only had one client I fired - about 12 years ago. They were not a bridezilla - it was just an unfortunate circumstance which became a permanent obstacle to any successful outcome.

The Bride & Groom scheduled their planning meeting - and insisted on driving out to meet me at my home on a Sunday. As a rule, I don't scheudle Sunday meetings of any kind. If I don't have an event I want the day free and clear because I know my mind will not be on office duty.

I told them I would come to them on any given day or evening, but they insisted on Sunday and coming to me - so I relented.

Well, of course after a busy weekend Sunday rolls around and I take my daughter out for a walk to Grandma's house - forgetting about the meeting. :(

About an hour later I remembered and called them to apologize and let them know I would meet them anytime anywhere at their convenience.

By the third telephone conversation with the groom it was clear that they were never going to get past this and I would be foolish to go forward given their disposition.

I suggested he would be better served to hire another DJ and I would forward his deposit to whomever he hired. I sent him a release and when they returned it with the name of the new vendor I did just that.

The irony is that of all the DJs in the area they could have hired - the company they chose was a no show at a wedding in Boston's Back Bay about 10 weeks earlier. (They're generally very good, it just so happened that particular DJ screwed up.) Funny how life works out.

Once contracted I would never back out on anyone regardless of how much a "Bridezilla" they became I would work with it and around it but in this case

I told them I would come to them on any given day or evening, but they insisted on Sunday and coming to me - so I relented.

Thats where the contact would have ended. I don't run from a challenge but I also dont let the customer dictate how and when I will run my business or private life

Either Im just too much in control from first meeting or pure luck has been on my side the past 20 yrs. I can count on one hand the least bit difficult Brides, Grooms or Moms I have had to deal with.

They have been few & far between....maybe a total of 10 out of 1000 events total.

When you consider the sheer percentage of weddings, maybe its 1% or 2% that really bite.

Once you've been in the business for long enough....its easier to snuff them out before you get stuck with a MOB-zilla or Bride-zilla. You can recognize behavior patterns that are replicated time & time again.

For example:

1) I remember, many years ago......a bride who insisted on playing Rush for her 1st dance, and really loud too. Its like she wanted everyone to leave or something! I was a rookie....eager to please. (Funny how yesterday's "heavy metal" is tomorrow's classic rock).

2) Another couple, from my early days, insisted on lots of west coast rap (they provided) , MC Hammer ("Let's Get It Started") & Rob Base tunes ("Joy & Pain," "It Takes Two").....for their dance tunes. They were ahead of their time, this being in 1988, before "U Can't Touch This" made MC Hammer acceptable at weddings.

Naturally, the only people who danced at this reception were B/G and the wedding party.

Subsequently, I adopted a "NO HARD RAP or HEAVY METAL" clause into my contract--- which effectively prevented either of these two extremes to occur again.

Similarly, having the "NO CHEESE" policy.....ensures that my future prospects are discriminating brides who want a cookie-cutter free wedding! Naturally, some of these folks are going to be "picky" with their DNP and request list.....some are anal control freaks with Excel spreadsheets for their timeline & requests.....this can be expected 2x per wedding season.

Irish (groom)-Italian/Silician (bride) Wedding about 3 years ago. I only met with her, at the time he was untril the last week. Nice people...BUT, she having to meet with me 7 TIMES!! YES, 7 TIMES!!! The last 3 were at 6:45 am!!! (I'm an early bird, but....wtf!!??)

Yes, it was all about her!

Reception went well depsite the fact the power (not mine!) went out 2-3 times! I was *allowed* one 3 prong outlet, now it's changed to 2- 3 prongs...

She ripped me at first, the second time, I pulled her aside and said *Listen please, this is not my doing! **She finally believed me...

I never heard from her again...I called and email her for best wishes, etc..

Nothing!

Irish (groom)-Italian/Silician (bride) Wedding about 3 years ago. I only met with her, at the time he was untril the last week. Nice people...BUT, she having to meet with me 7 TIMES!! YES, 7 TIMES!!! The last 3 were at 6:45 am!!! (I'm an early bird, but....wtf!!??)

Yes, it was all about her!

Reception went well depsite the fact the power (not mine!) went out 2-3 times! I was *allowed* one 3 prong outlet, now it's changed to 2- 3 prongs...

She ripped me at first, the second time, I pulled her aside and said *Listen please, this is not my doing! **She finally believed me...

I never heard from her again...I called and email her for best wishes, etc..

Nothing!


LOL... I am SO NOT willing to do that. :sqerr:

LOL... I am SO NOT willing to do that. :sqerr:

I've learned alot from that wedding..:sqmad:

This is a great site. So much information. I'm about to venture into the dj business. I would like to start off by doing weddings/small parties. I will be using cd's only. I don't have much capiltol to start off with. I was on the internet and found a dj system by American Audio for $1200.00. It included two 15" speakers, dual cd player, a mixer, mic and two speaker stands. Would this be ok for starters? Can I trust American Audio's system to work for me from gig to gig? Is $1200.00 to low to start with. Please help.
I know this is the wrong thread for this question, I could not find the correct one. New at this.

Thanks,
Scat

This is a great site. So much information. I'm about to venture into the dj business. I would like to start off by doing weddings/small parties. I will be using cd's only. I don't have much capiltol to start off with. I was on the internet and found a dj system by American Audio for $1200.00. It included two 15" speakers, dual cd player, a mixer, mic and two speaker stands. Would this be ok for starters? Can I trust American Audio's system to work for me from gig to gig? Is $1200.00 to low to start with. Please help.
I know this is the wrong thread for this question, I could not find the correct one. New at this.

Thanks,
Scat

You will get mixed answers about the purchase, I will lett others chime in first.. But you must ask yourself what if the amp or cd play dies while your at a gig, it's known to be the 2 biggest failures.

Other than that are you really calling yourself DJ Scat SCat is a slang word for Poop or Feces..

Welcome to the board.

You will get mixed answers about the purchase, I will lett others chime in first.. But you must ask yourself what if the amp or cd play dies while your at a gig, it's known to be the 2 biggest failures.

Other than that are you really calling yourself DJ Scat SCat is a slang word for Poop or Feces..
Welcome to the board.


But also a term for an old time jazz style...

I have bailed out on Potential Clients but it was before Contract Signing...They would call or E-Mail about this detail and that detail and I just kindly asked that they find someone else..But Once Contract is signed and returned,I would never back out.

But also a term for an old time jazz style...
Popularized by jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald and others, including Scatman Crothers.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scat_singing

This is a great site. So much information. I'm about to venture into the dj business. I would like to start off by doing weddings/small parties. I will be using cd's only. I don't have much capiltol to start off with. I was on the internet and found a dj system by American Audio for $1200.00. It included two 15" speakers, dual cd player, a mixer, mic and two speaker stands. Would this be ok for starters? Can I trust American Audio's system to work for me from gig to gig? Is $1200.00 to low to start with. Please help.
I know this is the wrong thread for this question, I could not find the correct one. New at this.

Thanks,
Scat

I could put together this system (www.pssl.com) for only $600.

Irish (groom)-Italian/Silician (bride) Wedding about 3 years ago. I only met with her, at the time he was untril the last week. Nice people...BUT, she having to meet with me 7 TIMES!! YES, 7 TIMES!!! The last 3 were at 6:45 am!!! (I'm an early bird, but....wtf!!??)

Yes, it was all about her!

Reception went well depsite the fact the power (not mine!) went out 2-3 times! I was *allowed* one 3 prong outlet, now it's changed to 2- 3 prongs...

She ripped me at first, the second time, I pulled her aside and said *Listen please, this is not my doing! **She finally believed me...

I never heard from her again...I called and email her for best wishes, etc..

Nothing!

Sounds like a blessing to me :sqwink:

6:45 AM? Sorry honey, not gonna do it. If you can find another DJ that is willing to do this then, please, feel free to find one and I'll gladly refund the contract signing fee.

I did an interview a few days ago. One of the questions I asked usually is:

When you hear the music at your reception is it more important to you that:
A. Your guests get what they want
B. You get what you want
C. A combination of both
How much flexibility do you have?

The bride and groom answered A with no flexibility. I then asked what their music tastes were and it was all rap, hip hop, and top 40. My next set of questions was:

What are the demographics of your guests? What percentage of them are your parents’ age or above? How many are close friends, coworkers and cousins? Will there be any children attending the reception?


When they told me that most of their guests were over 40 I then asked if the songs they were planning to pick would be ones that they felt that they and all of their guests would want to get out on the dance floor for. The bride said that she didn't care about her guests and that this was her wedding and the guests had better get out on the dance floor no matter what and that it was my job to make them.

I then said that we were not the mobile entertainment company for them because we do not force people to dance if they don't want to because it does not make for an enjoyable event for them. Our job is to entertain; it is not to force people to do something they don't want to do.

I thanked them for their consideration, packed up, and left.

Tom...you made the right call!

And, did I mention this is a great thread.

The bride you just described...is an archetype of the spoiled Bridezilla.

What is even worse....is when MOB is paying, but the B/G want rap/crap.

I tend to avoid jobs where you must "Serve Two Masters" (the MOB & the bride).

When they told me that most of their guests were over 40 I then asked if the songs they were planning to pick would be ones that they felt that they and all of their guests would want to get out on the dance floor for. The bride said that she didn't care about her guests and that this was her wedding and the guests had better get out on the dance floor no matter what and that it was my job to make them.
Boy, that's gonna go over like a fart in church. What's she gonna do if the guests start leaving early... lock the venue doors shut? :eek:

If I'm reading this right, she intends to dictate her personal selections and if the guests don't dance, it's your fault. I don't blame ya for sending this one on down the road.

:wtf:is the matter with some people?

see in a way this kind of bugs me. Guests haqve to realize that the Bride and Groom didnt plan the day for each and every guest. Sometime just sometime perhaps the guest should let down their personal comfort and celebrate with the Bride and groom.

Jon:

I look at it as give and take on both sides. The B&G shouldn't expect the their tastes to be the same as their guests and they should be catered to some. What I hear from most B&G's is that they want everybody to have a good time and that means they want them to dance and we all know that not everybody dances to the same beat (right Ron Auger :sqlaugh:).

I agree Tom it is common sense but I always set my clients up with the You want your guests who traveled a distance brought a gift and who are here to celebrate with you to have a good time! RIGHT? IT puts the choice in their court and honestly 99.999% will immediately reply with a resounding response! OF COURSE!!!

Can Anyone Top This????

Probably not, but thinking about events that go badly reminded me of one about 17 years ago.

It was a holiday party for employees from a local restaurant and bar chain. It was not put on by the employer - they organized it themselves off site at another venue.

15 Minutes into the party the guy in charge pays me in cash. 10 minutes later he returns to tell me the party is over. A fight started in the parking lot, one guy left unconcious in an ambulance, and the police shut down the party.

I think I was paid $500 for that 30 minutes of music. Probably one of my best hourly rates.

At what point do I give up on bridezillas? I try NEVER to....but.....

Having been blessed to not have that many of them in all these years, I was wholly unprepared for the one I took the deposit for last March for an October wedding. Forty emails, four meetings, and a very rushed wedding reception later (the schedule, prepared by the bride and TO BE FOLLOWED TO THE MINUTE...lol, allowed 20 minutes for 300+ guests to get through the buffet line AND eat), I thought I had handled her well, and not given up at all. Imagine my surprise when I found I had been savaged in an online review. THAT'S when I gave up on the bridezilla.
My only redemption came in the knowledge that although she had good things to say about both my services and that of other vendors, no one--including the ones she was 'truly happy' with-- got a better than mid-range review, or score. I've since written it off as a bridezilla, and moved on.

I've learned my lesson, and wouldn't hesitate to suggest alternatives to my services, if confronted with this kind of client again. I pride myself on my work, and if I can't deliver to everyone's satisfaction, I feel the client would be better served with someone else as a provider.

Just my .02.

At what point do I give up on bridezillas? I try NEVER to....but.....

Having been blessed to not have that many of them in all these years, I was wholly unprepared for the one I took the deposit for last March for an October wedding. Forty emails, four meetings, and a very rushed wedding reception later (the schedule, prepared by the bride and TO BE FOLLOWED TO THE MINUTE...lol, allowed 20 minutes for 300+ guests to get through the buffet line AND eat), I thought I had handled her well, and not given up at all. Imagine my surprise when I found I had been savaged in an online review. THAT'S when I gave up on the bridezilla.
My only redemption came in the knowledge that although she had good things to say about both my services and that of other vendors, no one--including the ones she was 'truly happy' with-- got a better than mid-range review, or score. I've since written it off as a bridezilla, and moved on.

I've learned my lesson, and wouldn't hesitate to suggest alternatives to my services, if confronted with this kind of client again. I pride myself on my work, and if I can't deliver to everyone's satisfaction, I feel the client would be better served with someone else as a provider.

Just my .02.

Wow......this shows why everyone is afraid of the UGC's for WOM....the risk of getting less than a 5-star review.

Safety in numbers.......when you already have 30+ reviews online, one less-than-stellar score isn't going to hurt your overall numbers (provided their comments are good).

When I got the 4-star review at Merchant Circle: I was DEVASTATED because the event (a last-minute Senior Prom) was so successful and the comments were positive. Even the review itself was glowing with positives. Yet I was still only 4 stars when she scored me. But daughter Allie was able to make me feel better by saying "Dad, none of the DJs at our school dances would get more than 2 stars...that was a pretty good score coming from a HS student!"


as to the ones Tiny mentioned, I could only find this VERY POSITIVE mention on The Snot:

Tiny Tunes - S**** E*******
xxxxxx Street Southeast
Altoona, Iowa 50009
515-555-3622
Knottie: Jm1977

"The wedding coordinators at two of the hotels downtown both said they thought Tiny Tunes is the best DJ in town. He is very classy and not cheesy at all! Very professional and easy to work with." ~ Knottie JM1977

as to the "unfavorable" one, that is on a site with the initials W.W.
(funny, of all the UGCs everyone talks about.......this is the ONLY one I've been procrastinating about joining).

On the good side....Tiny, I could not find the WW reviews in any Google Search for "Tiny Tunes Des Moines IA" and similar searches for "Tiny Tunes DJ Review".

WW doesn't seem to register AT ALL with the Goog-ster in your area (Des Moines, IA). Maybe it comes up on Page 3 or Page 4......too far back to have any effect on brides.

I found the Snot review on Page 1, non-sponsored.

Had to deal with one bride that was nice but would not take advice on anything eg. where to put dance floor, wanted only heavy metal after 10:00 etc. Needless to say her requests cleared the floor and everyone went home early (love to say I told you so). Could only cover my ass/rep by anouncing that the metal songs where requested by the bride.

My wife and I usually split the duties if it's a "Bridezilla". I work with them more on the phone before the wedding...my wife then takes over at the event. So far we've had 2 really bad ones but stuck it out. We've actually had referral work through them.

When do I give up? I DID! Stopped taking ANY weddings as of then, though I still have some commitments to fill. Shifted my focus to corporate, no income loss, no annoying B&G, and no looking back......:sqcool:

I once had a bride who seemed fine, until the planning meeting. We normally try to do the planning meeting about 3 months before the wedding this way they have plenty of time to make changes, resulting in fewer "last minute" changes. This bride waited till a week and a half before the wedding. Up till this point she had been requesting normal music and activities. Then she tells us that she wants NOTHING but Haitian music. I have 3 CDs of Haitian music and offered to play them, of course she hated those songs and wanted me to go buy about 30 CDs of Haitian music. We promptly returned her deposit and sent her on her way.

I have one that is turning bridezilla. Her wedding is May 5 and we had the finalization over the weekend. Since then the first dance song has gone full circle five times, the father/daughter has been cut and reinstated three times, and now I am getting conflicting things from her, her fiancee and her mom. She's also sent me three order changes on the montage and has changed the song several times.

I am calling her tomorrow night. I am going to ask her to just calm down and draw a line in the sand after which nothing changes. That line will be Sunday. I am also telling her that she is the single point of contact and her fiancee and mom are to work through her.