what to do about a little slander

[rickryan.com]

If, a term purposefully penned by many here offering sage and considered advice, rickryan "believes her actions are having a sufficient effect on his reputation" pacifist methods of response allow the damage to progress and may provide evidence of future claims of habitual, contributory passiveness.

How this thread became mine, I'll never understand. That said, I think Bob has missed (yet again) my point. Bob's approach, from my reading of it, is to quietly contact the client and try to pacify/resolve the issue. He's hoping they will remove their online posting(s). I believe he works mostly with repeat, corporate customers. He's not a wedding jock, which is a different world.

My experience, based on 80-100 weddings per year, is that these girls are mostly young and immature. Whenever they post a bad review, it's a toss-up whether it actually is something that the DJ did wrong. It's often just a perceived disappointment with their day and by golly SOMEBODY is going to pay for it. The DJ, often times, is at the bottom of the totem pole and is on the receiving end, regardless of who actually is to blame. It's also about 90% certain, that her online complaint is going to be inflammatory and most of it will be made up. She's not wanting to pacified. She's either trying to extort money back from the DJ or she's just trying to do as much damage as possible. Fortunately, those reviews often are pretty easy to see through and most people realize when it's just a crazy bridezilla. The trick here isn't to try and erase the slight. The trick her is to exploit it. If you call her, you're going to get blasted and you'll likely strengthen her resolve, ending up with her seeking out other avenues of dinging you. I believe the best course of action is to wait a few days, to let her cool down. After that, give a thoughtful, polite response. Keep it short, sweet, non-combative (as possible), then thank her (yes, fake it) for her "valuable feedback which helps us to make things better for the next client". As long as you don't start having substantial numbers of bad reviews (I currently have 2 bad out of 105 total), you'll occasionally get feedback from prospects that they called you precisely because of how you dealt with "that crazy zilla". That demonstration of professionalism, in the face of adversity, will work far more in your favor than her complaint ever will against you. Personally, I want a couple of bad reviews. In addition to the above benefit, it makes the other 98% more believable.

 

[djrox]

How this thread became mine, I'll never understand.

If I misread, I apologize.

I should know better than to defer to and/or rely solely on proformance's posts.

Again I apologize.

 

[Proformance]

Ditto but only as a first salvo.

If the misinformation campaign continues, other avenues of recourse are warranted and more likely to garner beneficial results.


Unless she hasn't or doesn't or won't.

Which serves as reliable evidence into her immaturity. Neither "frustration" nor any selfish, self serving "desire to be heard" is validation for using blogtelligence to disseminate lies, deception, disrespect, antagonism or slander.

Individuals that first seek to use the www to vent their unfounded, irrational, and self serving immaturity are individuals that rely on passive victims/targets.


No one is promoting negative or confrontational responses. But your passive, empathy based advice coupled with your inexperience with online reviews is weak advice, at best.

A private and polite but stern response and request to correct and cease any and all misinformation is a more prudent course.

If, a term purposefully penned by many here offering sage and considered advice, rickryan "believes her actions are having a sufficient effect on his reputation" pacifist methods of response allow the damage to progress and may provide evidence of future claims of habitual, contributory passiveness.

All hollow and empty ideals, rox.

 

[Proformance]

I think Bob has missed (yet again) my point. Bob's approach, from my reading of it, is to quietly contact the client and try to pacify/resolve the issue. He's hoping they will remove their online posting(s). I believe he works mostly with repeat, corporate customers. He's not a wedding jock, which is a different world.

If the bride complains - and the DJ doesn't know why - then he most certainly did something wrong. The most obvious mistake being he never bothered to periodically check in with his client to see if they were being well served. The proper time to correct a problem is while it's occurring.

I'm not hoping they remove online postings. It isn't necessary because I don't provide a platform for anyone to do that. I'm hoping to re-enlist their business (and usually successful) which is a far more lofty goal than anything you might achieve with online blunt-force trauma.

FYI: I'm not only a wedding jock - I'm often the wedding DJ's wedding DJ.

My experience, based on 80-100 weddings per year, is that these girls are mostly young and immature. Whenever they post a bad review, it's a toss-up whether it actually is something that the DJ did wrong. It's often just a perceived disappointment with their day and by golly SOMEBODY is going to pay for it. The DJ, often times, is at the bottom of the totem pole and is on the receiving end, regardless of who actually is to blame. It's also about 90% certain, that her online complaint is going to be inflammatory and most of it will be made up. She's not wanting to pacified. She's either trying to extort money back from the DJ or she's just trying to do as much damage as possible. Fortunately, those reviews often are pretty easy to see through and most people realize when it's just a crazy bridezilla. The trick here isn't to try and erase the slight. The trick her is to exploit it. If you call her, you're going to get blasted and you'll likely strengthen her resolve, ending up with her seeking out other avenues of dinging you. I believe the best course of action is to wait a few days, to let her cool down. After that, give a thoughtful, polite response. Keep it short, sweet, non-combative (as possible), then thank her (yes, fake it) for her "valuable feedback which helps us to make things better for the next client". As long as you don't start having substantial numbers of bad reviews (I currently have 2 bad out of 105 total), you'll occasionally get feedback from prospects that they called you precisely because of how you dealt with "that crazy zilla". That demonstration of professionalism, in the face of adversity, will work far more in your favor than her complaint ever will against you. Personally, I want a couple of bad reviews. In addition to the above benefit, it makes the other 98% more believable.

IMHO this is not based on your experience - it's actually your predisposition. Your most prolific post is your repeating "hunch" that this next prospect or client is a PIA even before you've talked to them. This kind of experience is called a: self fulfilling prophecy.

The leading cause of arse pain is rigid expectations and low flexibility.

 

[djrox]

If the bride complains - and the DJ doesn't know why - then he most certainly did something wrong.

Presumptive, speculative, and a revealing Freudian slip.

 

[rickryan.com]

If the bride complains - and the DJ doesn't know why - then he most certainly did something wrong. The most obvious mistake being he never bothered to periodically check in with his client to see if they were being well served. The proper time to correct a problem is while it's occurring.

Not necessarily so. I've had plenty of cases where, day of, the Bride was thrilled and proclaimed her un-dying love and appreciation at the end of an event. During the event, her dad (for example) was requesting goofball, country crap that would have wrecked her vibe. He didn't like it that we stuck with her list. She gets home, dad goes on a tirade and next thing you know, we're getting dinged for it. We're in a no-win situation and did nothing wrong. In fact, we did everything right according to her wishes.

It's been my observation that girls who legitimately have some kind of complaint and want an apology will either call or send an email the next week. The ones who take it online are simply out for blood or they have an alternate motive (extortion). All I'm suggesting is that the occasional online ding isn't the end of the world. It's an opportunity, if turned the right direction.

FYI: I'm not only a wedding jock - I'm often the wedding DJ's wedding DJ.

It's been noted many times, and by many people here that your posts would speak contrary to your statement above.

 

[Proformance]

Not necessarily so. I've had plenty of cases where, day of, the Bride was thrilled and proclaimed her un-dying love and appreciation at the end of an event. During the event, her dad (for example) was requesting goofball, country crap that would have wrecked her vibe. He didn't like it that we stuck with her list. She gets home, dad goes on a tirade and next thing you know, we're getting dinged for it. We're in a no-win situation and did nothing wrong. In fact, we did everything right according to her wishes.

So, despite being fully aware of the father/daughter disparity you failed to resolve the issue when it was happening, simply blew off the dad - and were surprised it came back to haunt you later?

I don't think you have fully thought threw the notion of customer care. You seem to have constructed some very narrow constraints and time limits that simply don't reflect reality.

It's been my observation that girls who legitimately have some kind of complaint and want an apology will either call or send an email the next week. The ones who take it online are simply out for blood or they have an alternate motive (extortion). All I'm suggesting is that the occasional online ding isn't the end of the world. It's an opportunity, if turned the right direction.

An online ding represents an opportunity already lost.
Has it occurred to you that the bride who takes it online does so because the constraints I previously referred to frame you as indifferent regarding the event's full breadth of issues?

She posts it online because she's no longer interested in your feedback or response. That's an opportunity you lost while you were still at the event blowing off her dad.

 

[Proformance]

I have a bride who gave me a very positive review start bad mouthing me on facebook after loosing a court case with the venue...

If you "friend" her on Facebook then by association all her problems are now your problems. At least that's how it will appear to all the people we now know are doing "recon" on you.

Don't get creepy with your customers and you won't have these issues.

 

[rickryan.com]

So, despite being fully aware of the father/daughter disparity you failed to resolve the issue when it was happening, simply blew off the dad - and were surprised it came back to haunt you later?

My tactic, while at the event, is to stick with the client. You're saying that you'd pull both dad and Bride to the side and get them into an argument, and on her wedding day? Not cool in my book.

 

[Chuck The DJ]

People post shit online because they think they are safe, they will say stuff online that they usually would not say to your face. And then the "online trolls" take over and shit becomes way bigger that it should have been and all of a sudden you start to apologize for something that you never needed for in the first place.

You did your job, you know it and if NEED be you have the proof to back that up. If you post a response she will, then the trolls will and on and on it goes.

I agree with Performance, take it offline, talk to her directly let her know how you feel, tell her you are sorry she lost the case and that if there is anything you can do for her in the future you will. Even if you wont.

Be the bigger man, let it go. It will save you heartache in the long run.

 

[rickryan.com]

Has it occurred to you that the bride who takes it online does so because the constraints I previously referred to frame you as indifferent regarding the event's full breadth of issues?

What occurs to me is that this is evidence that you don't do weddings, at least on a regular basis. As I've stated, Brides who take it online are angling or out for blood. The don't want resolution to a problem. They just want to vent and do damage.

 

[rickryan.com]

People post shit online because they think they are safe, they will say stuff online that they usually would not say to your face. And then the "online trolls" take over and shit becomes way bigger that it should have been and all of a sudden you start to apologize for something that you never needed for in the first place.

You did your job, you know it and if NEED be you have the proof to back that up. If you post a response she will, then the trolls will and on and on it goes.

I agree with Performance, take it offline, talk to her directly let her know how you feel, tell her you are sorry she lost the case and that if there is anything you can do for her in the future you will. Even if you wont.

Be the bigger man, let it go. It will save you heartache in the long run.

You're describing a ding in a public forum. I'm talking about a complaint on an online review system (weddingwire, theknot, etc). In the latter setting there's only a single complaint with opportunity for a single rebuttal. If you don't answer, it implies guilt. Handle it correctly, you gain other customers. In a forum setting, I agree totally, let it go. Stirring things up only fans the flames and a forum post is soon forgetten.

 

[Proformance]

My tactic, while at the event, is to stick with the client. You're saying that you'd pull both dad and Bride to the side and get them into an argument, and on her wedding day? Not cool in my book.

They are both our client since the bride has charged us with the responsibility of entertaining her guests.
You would have less issues if you could stop self-sabotaging your work with artificial limits that don't reflect reality.

The argument that "dad was not my client" obviously was no more acceptable to that bride than it is to me.

If I take my family and parents to dinner and my Dad's entree' is improperly cooked do you think the waiter should just blow him off because I'm the paying client and I either don't know or don't care about Dad's food preferences?

 

[Chuck The DJ]

You're describing a ding in a public forum. I'm talking about a complaint on an online review system (weddingwire, theknot, etc). In the latter setting there's only a single complaint with opportunity for a single rebuttal. If you don't answer, it implies guilt. Handle it correctly, you gain other customers. In a forum setting, I agree totally, let it go. Stirring things up only fans the flames and a forum post is soon forgetten.

I was just responding to the OP, not everything else... he said she was posting on FB

 

[Proformance]

What occurs to me is that this is evidence that you don't do weddings, at least on a regular basis.

I think it's evidence that you're experience isn't as informed as your believe. Again, you're grasping at limits that have no basis in reality.

 

[rickryan.com]

I think it's evidence that you're experience isn't as informed as your believe. Again, you're grasping at limits that have no basis in reality.

80-100 wedding per year, hoss. You're out of touch.

 

[Chuck The DJ]

Reality Bites.

 

[Proformance]

You're describing a ding in a public forum. I'm talking about a complaint on an online review system (weddingwire, theknot, etc). In the latter setting there's only a single complaint with opportunity for a single rebuttal. If you don't answer, it implies guilt. Handle it correctly, you gain other customers. In a forum setting, I agree totally, let it go. Stirring things up only fans the flames and a forum post is soon forgetten.

I don't think it matters. If the customer is bypassing us to make a complaint online it's because we had an opportunity that was previously lost, and there is no redress to be made. They are not interested in fixing us - their intent is to make others aware of what was missed or overlooked.

Expand your concept of who your client is and how to fully serve them. Brides don't "change their mind" about your work - they get more or better information about what actually transpired.

A customer may occasionally be unfair but, they will never be wrong.

 

[ittigger]

I think we need some in this theater too.

 

[ittigger]

People post shit online because they think they are safe, they will say stuff online that they usually would not say to your face. And then the "online trolls" take over and shit becomes way bigger that it should have been and all of a sudden you start to apologize for something that you never needed for in the first place.

You did your job, you know it and if NEED be you have the proof to back that up. If you post a response she will, then the trolls will and on and on it goes.

You're right Chucky, there are some people like this. There are also some with other motives and others with a little of everything and for various reasons. Unfortunately, there is no 'One Size Fits All'.