I was trying to help my daughter start DJing. It can be an excellent part time job if you're good at it and she is. So she came home one day and told me she booked her first gig... for both of us... an outdoor wedding and reception for $150. Yippee. Being the supportive father I am I told her I would gladly help her do the gig.
Fast forward to the week before the reception and my loving daughter had something come up and wasn't able to do the gig leaving me to do it solo.
First of all they wanted some rap songs that had profanity in them. When I emailed them back about this concern they said that was fine. They WANTED the versions with the profanity in them.
The bride walked down the isle to the theme song for Dexter... a TV show about a serial killer who actually worked for the police helping to solve homicides. The groom had a young daughter and he wanted a special dance with her. The song he danced with her was '97 Bonnie & Clyde by Eminem. If you are unfamiliar the song it's about a man speaking to his infant child. Here are some of the lyrics:
C'mon hai-hai, we goin' to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? she's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin', it's kind of late to go swimmin'
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
That do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch, it don't hurt, her was eatin'
Dinner while you were sweepin' and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? we'll let her wash off in the water
And me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?
See honey, there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
'cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein' mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
We're gonna take mama for a whittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin' in her ear (ma-ma!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you want to help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of three dummies
One, two, free, wee! (whoosh)
There goes mama, spwashin' in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk
Gee... I can absolutely see why you'd want to dance with you young daughter to this at your wedding. There was more craziness and they even tried to short me on the cash! Let's just say my soul died a little that day while I played this music with a forced smile on my face.
Fast forward to the week before the reception and my loving daughter had something come up and wasn't able to do the gig leaving me to do it solo.
First of all they wanted some rap songs that had profanity in them. When I emailed them back about this concern they said that was fine. They WANTED the versions with the profanity in them.
The bride walked down the isle to the theme song for Dexter... a TV show about a serial killer who actually worked for the police helping to solve homicides. The groom had a young daughter and he wanted a special dance with her. The song he danced with her was '97 Bonnie & Clyde by Eminem. If you are unfamiliar the song it's about a man speaking to his infant child. Here are some of the lyrics:
C'mon hai-hai, we goin' to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat
Oh where's mama? she's takin a little nap in the trunk
Oh that smell (whew!) da-da musta runned over a skunk
Now I know what you're thinkin', it's kind of late to go swimmin'
But you know your mama, she's one of those type of women
That do crazy things, and if she don't get her way, she'll throw a fit
Don't play with da-da's toy knife, honey, let go of it (no!)
And mama said she wants to show how far she can float
And don't worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It's just a little scratch, it don't hurt, her was eatin'
Dinner while you were sweepin' and spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama's messy isn't she? we'll let her wash off in the water
And me and you can pway by ourselves, can't we?
See honey, there's a place called heaven and a place called hell
A place called prison and a place called jail
And da-da's probably on his way to all of em except one
'cause mama's got a new husband and a stepson
And you don't want a brother do ya? (nah)
Maybe when you're old enough to understand a little better
I'll explain it to ya
But for now we'll just say mama was real real bad
She was bein' mean to dad and made him real real mad
But I still feel sad that I put her on time-out
We're gonna take mama for a whittle walk along the pier
Baby, don't cry honey, don't get the wrong idea
Mama's too sweepy to hear you screamin' in her ear (ma-ma!)
That's why you can't get her to wake, but don't worry
Da-da made a nice bed for mommy at the bottom of the lake
Here, you want to help da-da tie a rope around this rock? (yeah!)
We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock
Ready now, here we go, on the count of three dummies
One, two, free, wee! (whoosh)
There goes mama, spwashin' in the wa-ta
No more fightin wit dad, no more restraining order
No more step-da-da, no more new brother
Blow her kisses bye-bye, tell mama you love her (mommy!)
Now we'll go play in the sand, build a castle and junk
But first, just help dad with two more things out the trunk
Gee... I can absolutely see why you'd want to dance with you young daughter to this at your wedding. There was more craziness and they even tried to short me on the cash! Let's just say my soul died a little that day while I played this music with a forced smile on my face.
