Do you question poor song choices...

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DJBob

New DJ
Dec 1, 2006
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...or go with what the client wants without question?

Two examples: the bride wants to dance with her father to Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross. Do you question it, thinking the Bride might not know what the song is about & is using the title only to make her choice

A recent example I had- the MOG wanted the song House of the Rising Sun. for the Mother-Son dance.

I posted this a couple of months ago, and received posts ranging from "it is our job to guide them" to "do what they ask without question"

Here's the rest of the story. I found out the Bride asked her future mother-in-law to tell me her favorite song of all time for the Mother-Son dance. The MOG hasn't been to a wedding since her own and the Groom is an only child, so she had no idea what the bride was talking about. When I talked to the MOG and explained what the song was for, she changed her song choice to a standard Mother-Son dance song. Apparently the Bride/ M-I-L relationship is already touchy.

Your thoughts on this subject?
 
I think it just depends on the client and the situation. To help the situation out, we email a list of recommended songs or songs that we have used in the past to the B&G for the parent dances. It seems to alleviate this problem altogether.
 
trafficgoo said:
To help the situation out, we email a list of recommended songs or songs that we have used in the past to the B&G for the parent dances.
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I do the same but I also give them to lyrics to the songs. Besides the music, people need to the hear the words.
 
I have questioned only once, when the B&G wanted a very explicit song for the garter removal song. I had to make an announcement that all children, and offend-able people should leave the room. I tried to get them to use the clean version, but they were set on the song. They both had the song as the ring tones when the other one called. The Song Akon - I Wanna F&ck You
 
MBM said:
I have questioned only once, when the B&G wanted a very explicit song for the garter removal song. I had to make an announcement that all children, and offend-able people should leave the room. I tried to get them to use the clean version, but they were set on the song. They both had the song as the ring tones when the other one called. The Song Akon - I Wanna F&ck You
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I Wanna Fick you? :sqwink:
 
eldjdelcaribe said:
If I think it will be un-appropriate I always let them know but they do have the last word on it.
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Which is the point of the thread- is it our job to advise clients of inappropriate song choice or should we say nothing at all? Obviously every situation is different and the client has the last word, but IMO part of my job is to not let the client look bad if I can prevent it.

Example- a few years ago a bride wanted the song Changes by Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne for their father daughter dance. I thought it was an odd choice, so I asked why. Apparently Dad was a roadie for Ozzy back in 'the day' and watched Kelly (who is approx the same age as his daughter and often accompanied Ozzy on the road) grow up thru the years. It was a relevant song for them and everyone knew the meaning behind it, so I had no reservations about playing it.

In this instance, I have known both of the Grooms parents since before they were married. The MOG was clueless about everything, all she knew was that the Bride asked what her favorite song was, then was told it was a poor choice without explaining why. This started another round of Bride v. M.I.L.
 
DJBob said:
...Example- a few years ago a bride wanted the song Changes by Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne for their father daughter dance. I thought it was an odd choice, so I asked why. Apparently Dad was a roadie for Ozzy back in 'the day' and watched Kelly (who is approx the same age as his daughter and often accompanied Ozzy on the road) grow up thru the years. It was a relevant song for them and everyone knew the meaning behind it, so I had no reservations about playing it...
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And there is the answer. Before you challenge/question/influence your client's (or their parent's) choices, simply ask them why. An innocent enough question that actually will help you personalize their wedding without seeming to put down a very personal decision. If they have no real reason (for instance they picked Dance With My Father based solely on the title), then I will offer some additional information...always with the disclaimer that bottom line, I will play what they want.
 
I try to be "helpful" only when asked, on this topic - special dance song choices are and should be personal choices for those involved in those dances. If I'm going to more heavily analyze advance requests, I focus on the dance portion.
 
eldjdelcaribe said:
If I think it will be un-appropriate I always let them know but they do have the last word on it.
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Exactly. They chose the songs they chose for a reason. It isn't my place to second-guess their song choices. I will suggest alternatives if asked or if I'm guessing that a better version of the song is available.

At a recent wedding, the B&G had Chuck Berry's C'est La Vie (You Never Can Tell) on their itinerary list. As far as I'm aware, there isn't a remastered version available and the original recording is poor. So I suggested Chely Wright's cover of the song which is a much better one in my opinion. They agreed and were very pleased with it.

Otherwise, play what they want. :)
 
:sqlaugh:If that is the song they choose that is fine but if I feel it is not appropiate in some way I will let them know.
 
I had this come up last summer......MOG wanted "Sunrise Sunset" (the song from Fiddler On The Roof), to dance with her son the Groom.

After explaining to the Mom that the song's lyrics are completely off topic: ("Here is the Little GIRL I carried...." etc) ; that it is a GIRL song and wouldn't really be appropriate for Mother/Groom dance.

She was insisting on this song, even after I explained the song was about a FATHER lamenting the loss of his DAUGHTER.

I then LIED and said "I don't have this song." (It was 2 days before the wedding when they tried to drop this request on me)

We went with "My Wish" (Rascal Flatts) -- a much better M/G song anyway.
 
DJMC, even though the client wanted this to be played you did not satisfy her even if it was inappropriate? I don't think you had a happy client and you just lost referrals from this client.

If my client wants me to play The Macarena during the first dance then that is what they get! I live off of client referrals and if I do not please them with something as simple as this I don't get a call back!

Sometimes you have to drop your ego to satisfy your client's wishes! I know before every event, I leave my Ego at home!
 
Matt Im not in the least bit surprised you wielding again the inferiority complex. Being a Mr Mom for so many yrs likely allows one to try and overpower those outside the home since one is a lowly house servant in real life. Happy Hannukah!
 
eldjdelcaribe said:
DJMC, even though the client wanted this to be played you did not satisfy her even if it was inappropriate? I don't think you had a happy client and you just lost referrals from this client.

If my client wants me to play The Macarena during the first dance then that is what they get! I live off of client referrals and if I do not please them with something as simple as this I don't get a call back!

Sometimes you have to drop your ego to satisfy your client's wishes! I know before every event, I leave my Ego at home!
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THE GROOM was happy I didn't have this song! (Relieved, actually)

Request came from a non-paying participant (the mom did not pay any $$$ for this wedding).

And, I did play the Macarena for the bride! (Bride was from France)

(the brother of the groom, the person who found me in "Yelp," is hiring me for HIS wedding some day!)
 
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