Weddings Catastrophic failure, and how to recover?

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Bryan, if there were only 40 people at this wedding, you didn't have much to work with. Brides have to be open to songs that guests will dance to. Yes, I'll play their special requests but if their playlist isn't working the client needs to understand the reason why.

Country and Alternative = Wrong music. Slow Country songs work but not many faster country songs fill the dance floor. Other possible problems: Lighting, some of these type of venues have bright flourescent lights that can't be dimmed. Cash bar, people drink less if they have to pay for it. Time of the day, day of the week, weather, - so many things that can work for or against the DJ getting people to dance.

I also agree with EERobert as far as playing those songs that will get some people on the floor. If the bride doesn't want those songs, either convince her or go to plan B. Plan B would be what Cap was referring too - as the MC, lead people to the dance floor. Announcements like "we need everyone in the Johnson family to come out and dance to 'we are family'", "We need all married couples to come out to the dance floor", (anniversary dance optional), "ladies choice" etc.

yeah, I had a wedding similar to this in April. Lighting was terrible, and not much dancing except for participation line dances. There was an open door that was bringing sunlight into the room. Started at 4pm which was too early IMO. The party ended early and I there wasn't much I could have done to coax people into dancing. I did the newlywed shoe game (which always gets some laughs) and if I had more games I would have done them too.
 
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Jas said:
I also agree with EERobert as far as playing those songs that will get some people on the floor. If the bride doesn't want those songs, either convince her or go to plan B. Plan B would be what Cap was referring too - as the MC, lead people to the dance floor.
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I really don't think it's even worth trying to offer ways to salvage the situation. According to the OP, there were 3 people who were under the age of 50. It was a no-win situation and dancing should not be expected, and it doesn't matter how stellar, stunning and talented the DJ entertainer is. If you cater to the old people, the client is alienated. If you cater to the 3 young people, the old people leave. I believe the best advice we can offer the OP is, some gigs suck. Cash the check and move to the next one and don't encourage the client to leave you a review.
 
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All great advice. As Rick mentioned/restated, there were less than 5 people under age 50, and most of those who were in that 50+ bracket looked like they were extras from Duck Dynasty. I'm not judging them, hell I grew up around those Appalachian country folks. It's just what would get them moving would've included heavy banjo music, and that is NOT what the B & G wanted. I should've played Cotton Eyed Joe earlier on I reckon :soldierreflecting:

I've come to grips finally that I can't please everyone all the time. All apart of the growing process as noted by a few of you here, which I appreciate. It just really sucks!
 
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I've read most of the responses and as usual Cap seems to be closest to what I was thinking. It depends on your DJ personality, what are YOU willing to do, how far are YOU willing to go?

Sometimes you just see it, know what is going on and run with it, chalk it up to one of "those" weddings. When you have been in the biz as long as Cap and I you will know what I am talking about. The fact that you have "nailed" ever other event you have done, suggests to me that you haven't done that many. But I could be wrong and I do not mean that as a slam BTW.

Simple first step is to remind people that you take requests and if they have something they would like to DANCE to, let you know. Play a few B&G requests and let the crowd know, "here is one requested by our B&G" or if you know the groom asked for it, mention that.

Personally I find that a lot of the time people will dance slow but not fast. If that is the case I will give them 3 or 4 slow in a row, then hit them with an "A" fast song.

Just depends on what you are comfortable doing.
 
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rickryan.com said:
I really don't think it's even worth trying to offer ways to salvage the situation.
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Probably not for most DJs. But there are others that would know a way to entertain this small group of people at least for a while. True - that with only 40 people (including the wedding party?) there's little chance of keeping them entertained for the duration. Figure half of the over 50 crowd will leave after dinner or cake and (do the math). :)

But, if there's something the DJ/MC can do that will make part of the night fun and memorable, it's better than simply giving up. Going out and talking to guests couldn't hurt. They'll at least remember the DJ as a friendly person.

The fact that you have "nailed" ever other event you have done, suggests to me that you haven't done that many

"That many" is a good question. 100 weddings without anything like this happening is rare or just lucky.
 
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Chuck The DJ said:
...The fact that you have "nailed" ever other event you have done, suggests to me that you haven't done that many...
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Correct. As I stated in my intro, I just started my company last July. At the end of 2015, I had done 6 weddings, a 21yo b-day party, and another private function. This year so far, I've only done 10 weddings (more on the books for the remainder of 2016), a NYE party, a few karaoke gigs, and a Grand Opening. Doing this as a part time job, I think I've done fairly well in landing gigs, and performing at them. However, unlike a lot of DJ's I see here and on other forums/boards, I have not bought into the making a spectacle of myself viewpoint/business model. I'm just not that kind of guy, and I let my brides know this ahead of time. I was just flabbergasted that NOONE besides the BP and a few of the older folks were gettin' down at this particular reception. It was new to me.

The reason I got into doing this to begin with, is because at most weddings I've been to, the DJ sucked balls. From crappy gear, music choices and not playing songs from the playlist they were given, to the eccentric DJ/performance artist who kind of makes an ass out of himself and distracts people from the real reason everyone is there...the Bride and Groom. I did not want to be like that, and I've been thanked for it repeatedly.

Having said all that, my goal at every event is to have a large portion of the guests dancing, toe-tapping, etc., but without the theatrics. It's challenging, but also deeply rewarding. I know I'll have some more of these "set-back" gigs in the future, I was just interested in getting some feedback from you BTDT's (Been There Done That's) on how to mitigate some of these issues in the future. I thank you all for that!
 
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We've all seen it at least once.
I think you may be right about the guests in a bad mood.
Add that to a crowd that isn't into dancing to begin with...and you're screwed.
As it's been said, there are MANY reasons a crowd won't dance....
but only ONE reason they WILL dance. (because they want to to)
There is nothing wrong with a "listening" party.
Play the B&G's requests, ask for guest requests, and keep it upbeat.
As Cap said, sometimes an event requires more than just music.
I like Scott Hanna's questions. I always try to "dull the pain" in advance.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
 
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I would have just kept rolling on with what you were doing because it seems like all you could have done. You know how the people in our town are. I had one dance I tag teamed with another DJ and we had that problem. They would not dance to any of the "Big Gun" songs, we tried a little bit of anything from any genre nobody got up and danced until we played Conway Twitty. Crazy as it was it was Conway that brought them to the floor and it's not like his stuff is majorly danceable either. We were like OK for what ever it's worth. We felt like crap because we can't get them on the floor with any of the songs that are usually just about fool proof. Turns out, the problem wasn't really "us" at all. It was them. They were not upset with us or anything, but we were starting to sweat it. At the end of the night the client was happy, that was all that mattered and we went away from there and learned more about ole' Conway that night. In retrospect, we could have learned more about the client at the client meeting. I didn't go to that meeting because he was the other DJ's Client. I was just a guest DJ.
 
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