Weddings Joining Ceremony/Reception

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jokerswild

Chief Bottle Washer
Feb 11, 2007
18,776
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Elkhart, IN
www.totalimpactdjs.com
I think I'm safe to assume that a Joining Ceremony for a female and her partner is really a same sex wedding.

But, the message I got in a recent inquiry is that they were having a different kind of wedding and that it was a "Joining Ceremony".

For those that have done this type of event am I safe to assume that there is not much difference other than it's Bride & Bride instead of Bride & Groom?

Or are there special things done differently?

I'm hoping DJ Fuzzy will chime in on this too.
 
Most of the ones that I have done have been mostly the same.

The only difference was that the parties 'ROCKED" more than others.
 
I think I'm safe to assume that a Joining Ceremony for a female and her partner is really a same sex wedding.

But, the message I got in a recent inquiry is that they were having a different kind of wedding and that it was a "Joining Ceremony".

For those that have done this type of event am I safe to assume that there is not much difference other than it's Bride & Bride instead of Bride & Groom?

Or are there special things done differently?

I'm hoping DJ Fuzzy will chime in on this too.

In my experience, every couple is different. You should ask them how they want to be addressed. Most of the ones I have done do not refer to each other as bride and bride or groom and groom. For the formal stuff, they have just used their first names..."Do you, Don take Eric to be your partner for life....", etc...

I, as the DJ, have generally introduced them something like this..."And now, the reason we're all here tonight...it is my honor to introduce our distinguished guests of honor, Mary and Alice blah blah blah... (sometimes they will share a hyphonated name, and sometimes they wont).

It's really important to get those details down in the meetings. I have had no situation that has been similar for any of the gay events that I have done. Every single one has been extremely different. It all depends on the couple. Some are more open to the traditional "wedding" stuff but most want to do something not-so-common.


Oh, and you will need some Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, etc... And, in my experience, lesbians tend to LOVE hip hop and RnB, dependending on their ages.
David
 
Rob:

Without being offensive to Fuzzy, I am going to ask you if this is really something you want to do?

I did a same-sex wedding about two years ago. The feeling at the time was that their money is green and I can look the other way. It was a female-female wedding and one of them was going trans-gender.

It was the most uncomfortable experience I have ever had as a DJ.

I was prepared for women dancing with each because I see that at most parties. I even thoufght I was prepared to see guys dancing with each other because that sometimes happens during the dollar dance as a joke; I was wrong.

Since then I have had a few inquiries and I was honest with them and told them that I would be uncomfortable doing their event. Same sex marriage is still against the law in Maryland so I felt comfortable being honest because they don't have any legal basis for saying that I am discriminating.

What I would recommend is finding a gay DJ in your area and doing a referral.
 
Rob:

Without being offensive to Fuzzy, I am going to ask you if this is really something you want to do?

I did a same-sex wedding about two years ago. The feeling at the time was that their money is green and I can look the other way. It was a female-female wedding and one of them was going trans-gender.

It was the most uncomfortable experience I have ever had as a DJ.

I was prepared for women dancing with each because I see that at most parties. I even thoufght I was prepared to see guys dancing with each other because that sometimes happens during the dollar dance as a joke; I was wrong.

Since then I have had a few inquiries and I was honest with them and told them that I would be uncomfortable doing their event. Same sex marriage is still against the law in Maryland so I felt comfortable being honest because they don't have any legal basis for saying that I am discriminating.

What I would recommend is finding a gay DJ in your area and doing a referral.

No offense taken, and I appreciate your honesty. If I were having a "union", I would want all of my vendors to be comfortable.

The only thing that I take issue with is that you are attempting to sway him from doing the event based on your own experiences. Let Rob decide whether this will be right (or wrong) for him AFTER he has experienced it, at least once.

Rob may not have the same issues that you did.
 
Hot Potato

I can see this as a "Hot Potato" issue!:sqeek:
 
Fuzzy:

My purpose was only to relate my experience. Rob still has to make the decision as to whether he wants to do this but he should know what my experience was and what my recommendation is should he decide to not take the event.
 
Fuzzy:

My purpose was only to relate my experience. Rob still has to make the decision as to whether he wants to do this but he should know what my experience was and what my recommendation is should he decide to not take the event.

Create a Poll Tom. However make one where the Pollsters cannot be identified.
 
Rob:

Without being offensive to Fuzzy, I am going to ask you if this is really something you want to do?

I did a same-sex wedding about two years ago. The feeling at the time was that their money is green and I can look the other way. It was a female-female wedding and one of them was going trans-gender.

It was the most uncomfortable experience I have ever had as a DJ.

I was prepared for women dancing with each because I see that at most parties. I even thoufght I was prepared to see guys dancing with each other because that sometimes happens during the dollar dance as a joke; I was wrong.

Since then I have had a few inquiries and I was honest with them and told them that I would be uncomfortable doing their event. Same sex marriage is still against the law in Maryland so I felt comfortable being honest because they don't have any legal basis for saying that I am discriminating.

What I would recommend is finding a gay DJ in your area and doing a referral.
I don't think it matters if I think it's wrong or right I'm just the DJ my job is to make introductions and play great party music.

I don't think gay marriage has been legalized in Indiana yet either but who cares. That's a government issue not a love issue.

At least I would be able to play some of my guilty pleasure songs like George Michael and Wham.

Sometimes we have to set aside our personal beliefs and just do it.

As long as they don't pay with three dollar bills I'm okay with it... Gay money spends just as easy as Staight money.
 
In my experience, every couple is different. You should ask them how they want to be addressed. Most of the ones I have done do not refer to each other as bride and bride or groom and groom. For the formal stuff, they have just used their first names..."Do you, Don take Eric to be your partner for life....", etc...

I, as the DJ, have generally introduced them something like this..."And now, the reason we're all here tonight...it is my honor to introduce our distinguished guests of honor, Mary and Alice blah blah blah... (sometimes they will share a hyphonated name, and sometimes they wont).

It's really important to get those details down in the meetings. I have had no situation that has been similar for any of the gay events that I have done. Every single one has been extremely different. It all depends on the couple. Some are more open to the traditional "wedding" stuff but most want to do something not-so-common.


Oh, and you will need some Etheridge, Ani DiFranco, etc... And, in my experience, lesbians tend to LOVE hip hop and RnB, dependending on their ages.
David
Great post Fuzzy.

I would imagine just like any other event songs and traditions are going to vary.

I think it's great advice to get any and all details necessary at planning meetings so as to avoid embarassmets later.

I don't want to be the typical straight DJ that plays a bunch of techno cause "that's what gays like". I want to rawk the party.
 
Great post Fuzzy.

I would imagine just like any other event songs and traditions are going to vary.

I think it's great advice to get any and all details necessary at planning meetings so as to avoid embarassmets later.

I don't want to be the typical straight DJ that plays a bunch of techno cause "that's what gays like". I want to rawk the party.

In most cases, EVERYTHING will be different. They may even come up with new "traditions" or "customs", or "formalities".

Go into it without ANY assumptions...i.e., I'm a gay man and, aside from Sandstorm, I really hate techno! LOL When you go in with an open mind, and not use stereotypes, you will find that most gay people are just like everyone else...they like a variety of music, and they want to party. They just tend to party on a bigger scale. :sqbiggrin:
 
I don't think it matters if I think it's wrong or right I'm just the DJ my job is to make introductions and play great party music.

I don't think gay marriage has been legalized in Indiana yet either but who cares. That's a government issue not a love issue.

At least I would be able to play some of my guilty pleasure songs like George Michael and Wham.

Sometimes we have to set aside our personal beliefs and just do it.

As long as they don't pay with three dollar bills I'm okay with it... Gay money spends just as easy as Staight money.
"I don't think it matters if I think it's wrong or right," "I don't think X has been legalized in Y yet either but who cares," "setting aside your personal beliefs," "As long as they don't pay with three dollar bills I'm okay with it,"...

Congrats. You qualify for membership in another elite family...

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The important thing is that you treat this like you'd treat any other wedding - and ask a LOT of questions. :)

Just go through your normal process, and they'll let you know when and where they want to stray from the norm.

As long as you're as detailed, thorough, and leave lots of room for open-ended answers on their part you should be fine.

They're not expecting you to be a great "gay dj," out of the box - and our erroneous assumption is that there really IS any such thing to begin with. They just expect you to be a great DJ, and as long as you are detailed and attentive, and open-minded, that's exactly what you'll be!

Needless to say, you might well find yourself relying a LITTLE less on you're online system for planning this one! :sqwink:

But you'll be fine.
 
"I don't think it matters if I think it's wrong or right," "I don't think X has been legalized in Y yet either but who cares," "setting aside your personal beliefs," "As long as they don't pay with three dollar bills I'm okay with it,"...

Congrats. You qualify for membership in another elite family...

attachment.php

I really don't think being a professional and performing my duties as a DJ to the best of my abilities regardless of my beliefs or the beliefs of the general public at large makes me what I assume you mean by the photoshop picture as being spineless.... I call it professional detachment. I don't have to believe in something in order to provide good services.
 
Sometimes we have to set aside our personal beliefs and just do it.

Depends on that personal belief if you have strong feelings against gay people or gay marrige you probably shouldn't do it if you don't give it hell

In my case I would be all over this event but as others said get details don't assume anything
 
"I don't think it matters if I think it's wrong or right," "I don't think X has been legalized in Y yet either but who cares," "setting aside your personal beliefs," "As long as they don't pay with three dollar bills I'm okay with it,"...

Congrats. You qualify for membership in another elite family...

Take your pills Rocky
 
I just had a very nice phone call with the perspective client. She seems very nice and willing to work with us.

I was completely upfront with her and let her know that while this would be my first gay marriage and I would work closely with her and her partner to make sure that the event is everything they dreamed it could be.

She replied "Well this is my first gay marriage too {insert laugh}" I replied with "good then we are both in the same boat."

I have every confidence that I can do this event without reservations now that I've been able to speak with her on the phone.

I think it will be loads of fun!
 
I just had a very nice phone call with the perspective client. She seems very nice and willing to work with us.

I was completely upfront with her and let her know that while this would be my first gay marriage and I would work closely with her and her partner to make sure that the event is everything they dreamed it could be.

She replied "Well this is my first gay marriage too {insert laugh}" I replied with "good then we are both in the same boat."

I have every confidence that I can do this event without reservations now that I've been able to speak with her on the phone.

I think it will be loads of fun!

Congrats, and have fun with it!
 
You'll have to keep us updated on how the planning and the event goes.
 
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