Weddings Setting Tone during Cocktail & Dinner Hours

[bombdhell89]

Hey guys!

I'm curious how you guys go about keeping the tone upbeat during cocktail hour and specifically through dinner. I know cocktail hours are "upbeat" and dinner hours are more "mellow," but how do you guys bring the energy back up going into the rest of the reception?

Generally, my weddings carry a "mellow" vibe through the dances which occur after dinner and usually cake cutting. (That can be at least 2 hours!) After that, open dancing usually ensues as if the guests have been pent up all night.. It's good because they're dancing, but I feel like sometimes they've been made to wait..

Is there a way to set that tone earlier? So guests know that they'll get their money's worth later on?

I know we can do it through our personalities, what we say and how we present ourselves in addition to music- but I'm curious as to how you pros do it! I want my gigs to remain upbeat and paced well without selling the farm too early!

Thanks in advance, all!

 

[Jas]

Good question. I've been doing this for 10 years now and still haven't solved this. I urge couples to keep the pace going but some have to have it theire way.

There are usually too many slow songs for special dances. Some guests are ready to start dancing after dinner and watching the B&G and/or wedding party do all those slow songs gets boring. Add the dollar dance and anniversary dance and it's time to leave because the party isn't much fun.

One idea is to open the dance floor right after the special dances for a while and do other events a little bit later. I like it when the couple plans a special dance with a dance routine they worked up, but it's rare for them to do that.

Some DJs are really good at hosting a game or two during dinner which keeps guests entertained. It also helps if those giving speeches keep them under 5 minutes with some humor. Long, boring speeches take away from the upbeat mood that's desired. So, some DJs spend a little time with each person giving a toast and coach them a bit. While others figure it's none of their business.

And why does dinner music have to be mellow anyway? I keep dinner music at the same pace as cocktail hour music unless otherwise specified.

 

[Fred Wright]

We'd make a list of recent, popular tunes that have upbeat lyrics to mix in during dinner and the seemingly endless waiting for the B&G to appear. We found that this method at least kept the guests reminded that a good dance time was coming.

Ask for requests and play 'em during dinner.

 

[bombdhell89]

It also helps if those giving speeches keep them under 5 minutes with some humor. Long, boring speeches take away from the upbeat mood that's desired.

^ I did a wedding recently for a couple and the groom was from the U.K.- apparently toasts are a really big deal there. (I had no idea) The groom spoke for 15-20 minutes and his both of his Best Men, who were also from the U.K. spoke for at least 15 minutes a piece. After that, NO ONE else wanted to make a toast and NO ONE else wanted anyone else to toast! The toasts were perfect, though and perfectly delivered with a good blend of humor, quip, taste, and class but here, we're just not used to that! Needless to say, the dance floor EXPLODED shortly afterwards when open dancing began.

Some DJs are really good at hosting a game or two during dinner which keeps guests entertained.

I've thought about doing something like this.. However, I don't want it to be cheesy or take the focus off of the B & G.. Something maybe trivia related with facts about the couple? My thought was that a short trivia game or two would keep dinner upbeat and help keep it punctuated and flowing nicely??

We'd make a list of recent, popular tunes that have upbeat lyrics to mix in during dinner and the seemingly endless waiting for the B&G to appear. We found that this method at least kept the guests reminded that a good dance time was coming.

Yes, here is where I try to start to earn the trusts of the guests. Before my wedding Friday, the groom's grandfather came up to me during set-up and was chatting me up about music. I asked him what he liked and he mentioned Hank Sr., Merle, Dolly Parton, etc and also Elvis but to "not worry about [him]" and "play what the kids like." I couldnt' have pulled off Hank Sr. or Merle based on the crowd, but I still threw on an early Elvis tune just for him and it fit nicely. As far as the younger "cool kids," I try and throw some newer upbeat stuff in there; "Sugar" by Maroon 5 comes to mind just so they know that I'm with it and there is more where that came from later on.

Ask for requests and play 'em during dinner.

I usually do this by going around to tables discretely and introducing myself and asking them if they're is anything they'd like to hear and that I take requests if they think of something! I will always play them if they fit and are appropriate!

 

[So Cal Hugh]

I really feel like this is a strong point for me.

During the cocktail hour I like an upbeat feel that has no lyrics. I use a genre called Acid Jazz, which is quite upbeat.

Dinner to me is crucial. How many times has classical music put the crowd to sleep??? I like the standards. I use Frank, Tony Bennet, Nat King Cole, etc. It keeps the energy going, and it works for all ages.

This topic is one I discuss with the couple with focus. I don't want them to miss the idea that energy is almost manditory. Never have I had it turned down, once I got it. It is not a hard concept to get them to see.

Hope that helps!

 

[bombdhell89]

Thanks for the comment!

I'm not sure how I feel about using jazz during cocktails, simply because cocktail and dinner hours are where I can really make sure to play something for everyone. Grandpa *might* not get to hear something he enjoys during a dance set, but you can be sure I'll throw something on for him during cocktail or dinner. It goes back to me earning their trust early on by playing a little something for everyone.

I know playing jazz during cocktails isn't too uncommon and of course, it could vary with the market and guests. Here, I wouldn't ever hear a client tell me to play strictly jazz during cocktail and I rarely get clients who ask for strictly crooners either.

I'd be interested to hear how you pitch the energy idea to your clients.

 

[DJ TJ]

I believe that cocktail hour is what defines the tone/mood for the night as this is what people first hear when they enter the venue and they will at that time based on what is playing, pre-judge what type of music they can expect they will hear throughout the evening.

I use cocktail hour to play lots of upbeat "feel good" songs (both new and old) that while quite likeable, are just not very danceable. Just look at your library and I'm sure you will agree that there is lots of good tunes that everyone would know and like but you wouldn't dare play during dance time because they are floor killers.
This way everyone gets to hear good music that they wouldn't hear later in the evening and as was mentioned, helps to earn trust in the way that they will now expect that your pattern of playing good tunes will carry on into the evenings festivities.

I should also mention that while keeping it upbeat, I still stick with "easy listening" genre's here. No rap/hip hop/hard rock etc. I keep it upbeat but light at the same time.

Dinner music is a little slower but still try and keep the "warm fuzzy feel good vibe" about it.
I generally avoid classical as well as the "piano lounge" sound.

 

[dunlopj]

My old stand by...slap on a Kenny G's greatest hits CD and walk away for a bit...

 

[bombdhell89]

My old stand by...slap on a Kenny G's greatest hits CD and walk away for a bit...

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[Hank Davidson]

TJ and Fred, great answers!

Owning a library is one thing. Knowing your music and how to use it is what makes things come together. You have to watch the body language of the room and keep a steady pulse. After all, this is where you are warming everyone up for what happens after dinner.

However, I will say that it is currently harder than ever to bridge the generation gap during a wedding. A couple of primary reasons are...

Content/Subject Matter of Top 40 in Recent Years: Outside of Country Music, we're lucky to get a handful of positive/feel good or love songs each year. Songs about independence, moving on from failed romances, basic bump n grind fare and more, just don't always fit well in a wedding environment.

Personal Music Devices: It's wonderful that we can all customize, revisit and discover vast amounts of content. The backside is that it really diversifies the room, making it hard for us to find that common ground.

There's no magic wand. Just try your best to read the crowd and never lean to hard in one direction (unless it's working). Look for instrumentals, jazzy or acoustic versions of popular songs to stay appropriate, yet familiar. Get creative. It may be just background music, but it plays a major role.

 

[rhythmgj]

I'm more of a traditional Jazz standards/Frank Sinatra/Rat Pack-during-dinner kind of guy. But, a few years ago, another DJ layed a disc on me that I have been using for "warm-up" music a lot, and I usually get at least a couple of questions about "What is that? " or "Where did you get those great tunes you played during dinner?" from a few listeners that have really been paying attention. I think subliminally for the rest, it keeps things "up" while still being completely appropriate for the first two hours, from a traditional perspective.

The disc in question is a "mix-tape" of a number of European "chillout" artists doing hits from the 80's, 90's, and 2000's using Jazz/Latin/Lounge style arrangements, along with a number of cuts from Paul Anka's big band album (wherein he did the same type of thing, only with big band charts). So you get songs by Soundgarden, Nirvana, and Michael Jackson done as Bossa Novas, Swing tunes and Bop numbers. Cool little trick, as you catch a lot of the 30-somethings and older singing or humming along, then saying to themselves "Wait a minute! Where have I heard this before?" That's when they usually come up to the booth and ask about the songs.

GJ

 

[rickryan.com]

Bomb, kudos to you for opening some great topics as of late. My take, DON'T try to push energy on the cocktail/dinner segment. 5 hours of upbeat, fast music is too much for the average listener. In short, it will end up dampening the energy you can milk out of the dance segment. Pacing on any event, my opinion, is key to making it successful in the minds of the host/guests. I give them 20 minutes to acclimate to their surroundings (cocktail) with instrumental jazz. I then move it into Sinatra/Buble/NatKingCole for 20 minutes and finally transition it to light pop, motown, country, etc. to start ramping it up to dance time. Once I hit dance time is when I drop the hammer and I flip genres and feels the rest of the night. Just be patient and realize there's a time and place for everything during the evening.

 

[Handinon]

Great thread with some great answers. Only thing I'll add is speaker placement. I setup with my tops really far apart. During cocktail/dinner I pivot them inwards, almost facing each other (10" two-ways, easy to move). This way I can keep the sound level much higher on the dance floor, in case someone does dance, yet not annoy those eating. Later I just rotate them back, facing out, and rock the whole room.

GJ - just ordered "Rock Swings" by Anka. Thanks.

 

[ittigger]

I flip flop during dinner. Sometimes it's modern A/C, sometimes it's jazz. Sometimes I bop around a bunch of things. I try not to get too upbeat.

 

[IceBurghDJ]

I offer the bride choices...we can do jazz/classical for cocktails or dinner (rarely their choice), top 40 stuff you generally don't dance to for cocktails (usually chosen), frank/deano (never chosen yet), love songs (almost always their choice for dinner - some frank and deano in there too, but a mix of rock/country/easy from the past 60 years)

 

[bombdhell89]

I offer the bride choices...

This is my approach as well. I CAN do any genre during cocktail/dinner if it's requested. If the couple is indecisive or indifferent, I'll go off they're style or suggestions I may have received from them. I also ask them what they think their guests will enjoy, being as they know them best. I can always start throwing tunes at the wall to see what sticks and I think you guys know as well as I do that that is/should be something we're doing all night, at least until we dial a majority of the crowd in.

I appreciate all of your answers; they've given me a lot to think about! Aside from music, is there anything that YOU DJ's do to help keep the pace/feel/style up during your events?

 

[rickryan.com]

I appreciate all of your answers; they've given me a lot to think about! Aside from music, is there anything that YOU DJ's do to help keep the pace/feel/style up during your events?

Keep things constantly changing up. I urge the clients to space out their room-focus events so that we have something fresh coming up every 30 minutes. I also flip genres/tempos on music constantly and work in 4-song cycles.

BTW, as far as cocktail hour goes, I never ask the client what they want during this time. I try to pare my questions down to what I feel is essential, so as not to overwhelm them with decisions and cocktail music is typically not something that they care one way or the other about.

 

[So Cal Hugh]

I'm more of a traditional Jazz standards/Frank Sinatra/Rat Pack-during-dinner kind of guy. But, a few years ago, another DJ layed a disc on me that I have been using for "warm-up" music a lot, and I usually get at least a couple of questions about "What is that? " or "Where did you get those great tunes you played during dinner?" from a few listeners that have really been paying attention. I think subliminally for the rest, it keeps things "up" while still being completely appropriate for the first two hours, from a traditional perspective.

The disc in question is a "mix-tape" of a number of European "chillout" artists doing hits from the 80's, 90's, and 2000's using Jazz/Latin/Lounge style arrangements, along with a number of cuts from Paul Anka's big band album (wherein he did the same type of thing, only with big band charts). So you get songs by Soundgarden, Nirvana, and Michael Jackson done as Bossa Novas, Swing tunes and Bop numbers. Cool little trick, as you catch a lot of the 30-somethings and older singing or humming along, then saying to themselves "Wait a minute! Where have I heard this before?" That's when they usually come up to the booth and ask about the songs.

GJ

I would love to hear that music. Where can I find it?

 

[dunlopj]

I urge the clients to space out their room-focus events so that we have something fresh coming up every 30 minutes.

I try to pare my questions down to what I feel is essential, so as not to overwhelm them with decisions and cocktail music is typically not something that they care one way or the other about.

Two very good statements! I love the way you word the 1st one to clients.

 

[TwinSpinDJ]

I recall one wedding reception in the early 2000's where I really shook them up a bit at the end of the sit down meal. The groom was of Scottish decent and wore a kilt. Surprisingly, during the meetings he didn't even ask about Scottish music. Anyway, I played a couple of bagpipe tunes that got the mood changed quickly. Not slow Scottish tunes, but lively. The crowd loved it as the Groom and a few of his relatives got out on the dance floor and did a few traditional dance steps. From then on the dance floor was quite lively.