I agree on some

If you ever wondered 'what click bait' and "worthless filler content" looks like - that's The Knots most blatant example of it.

Seriously? The 'Hokey Pokey' ?? I can recall only 1 wedding in the last 40 years that I played that song - and that reception had over a dozen small kids in attendance. It was a must play from the bride. If someone feels compelled to put the Hokey Pokey on their do not play list then I'd be curious where they've been living the past quarter century, and why they failed to graduate middle-school and yet, are old enough to get married,

Every song on that list not also a childish line dance is over-played because PEOPLE LIKE THEM. Are the Village People overplayed? YES. . . . . and people have been pointing that out since 1979 - and you know what? It's still as equally likely to show up on the must play list as it is the don't play list.

Unlike "The Knot' (so named because they want you to get your panties in a bunch over nothing) I trust most DJs know how to play fresh and still make diligent use of the songs that might be anthems for certain clients and their patrons. You like the YMCA ? I'll play it for you. It's that simple. If the bride loves one of these songs - then every one at her wedding proabbaly already knows that and they all chose to party with her becasue she's fun.

Here's the REAL thruth about overplayed songs at weddings:

By the time most people get married - they have been away from the party scene for quite a while. No longer in college, and not surround by people with nothing better to do than drink and party on the weekends - these people now have jobs and responsibilities. Their thoughts however, still remain with that period they best rememeber as their 'party personna.' A 30 year old bride is going to be quite fond of songs that are 10-15 years old. A 45 year old mom at her daughters bat mitzvah is going to request songs from late 90's and 2000's - along with the same Taylor Swift cuts her daughter listend to relentlessy while growing up.

Sorry, 'The Knot' - but, as publishers you may know how to sift recurrency from pop culture and online narcissim, but you don't know jack about real people and what makes them tick. Nor does the knot really understand DJs, who despite their intention to be cuttijng edge unwittingly choose and promote new songs to play on the basis of recurring texture and similarity to prior hits. Bruno Marrs sounds like _____________, Dua Lipa sound like ________________.

Go ahead - check your recent play lists and truly consider WHY you chose the songs that you did. If we're truly insightful then we know that we're simply knitting the same sweater in a different color or fabric because what worked 40 years ago is still a tool of the trade in music today. New hits are sewn from the same threads that weave our past.

There's really no such thing as over-played.

Jeff Romard said:

What they listen to daily may not be all that different but what they grew up with may well be. Maybe it's me but I find many of my 25-30 year old brides are really focused on making the reception a real good time for all concerned and in many cases many of their parents friends and other family are there so they pass on the club feel and take the standards. I don't see too many nights without a full dance floor and the 25s are dancing too

This suggestion list is from last year. There are some unusual on here Charlie Daniels and Gretchen Wilson come to mind, but mostly typical. The Bride was 28 or 29 if I recall

View: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3I8JfdGu5qdZRop5EHsLUZ?si=Hb5Z-g2URVO7qEpTZfyJhA&nd=1&dlsi=a06e91474f624507

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With exception of that list being a bit excessive (95 song requests is unrealistic for a typical 4hr reception), I don't see how that list is much different than what I would expect. It has your fun older songs, as well as a bunch of songs relevant to the couples age group and reminscent for them and their friends. The question is... how did this couple want it presented. Was the question even presented?

Did they want it mixed old and new all night long? Or... like most of my couples... as the night progressed focus more on the newer stuff relevant to the couples age group and transition away from the older stuff. I know the desire to want to keep everyone happy from a dj's perspective.. trust me I hear it from others too... but is that what the couple really dreams of, or is she looking for a "classy rager" (as I like to call it) by the end of the night.

Honestly, with the list you provided, if I trimmed it down I could replicate many of the lists I get. It really comes down to how it's presented on the dancefloor and what the couple wanted to accomplish.

On a side note... I know you used the word "club feel", but msot of my couples don't want edm. They want high energy moments and momentum created through familiar songs. Yes... I've seen brides and her girlfriends go just as hard to Wanna Be by spice girls and Bye Bye Bye as they do to I'm Good by David Guetta.

djtaso said:

I don’t think the music aspect of things has anything to do with region (with exception of some niche aspects which again can be relayed via requests and discussion). Perhaps the production norms are unique in Jersey and the flow and overall attention to certain detail… but these are 25-35yr old couples we’re focusing on. I don’t think a 25yr old bride from Kansas listens to music that is vastly different than the music that a 25 yr old from Jersey listens to or has different desires for their dancefloor. The Kansas girl likely has gone to college and partied on spring break w teens from all over the country just as the Jersey girl has. Social media has really made the world smaller.

these are also couples willing to spend 3x what my normal rates are to book me. Why would they do that if that’s not the music they liked and wouldn’t get their guests dancing.

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Sawdust123 Just gave you the correct answer: working in a bubble. You can take the show anywhere on the planet and find the same group of like-minded people, and they will pay the travel to move the bubble where they want it to be.

I see the same entertainers with the same clients repeatedly even when the entertainment is not necessarily the freshest fruit of the day. There's a who's who of social elite in every social circle no matter the magnitude, and it's what has driven socialites since the Roman Empire.

As for locations - Yes, a bride from Kansas is very different than a bride in Boston EXCEPT for the Kansas bride who previously lived and was schooled in Boston and is now getting married in Kansas surrounded by her Bostson and New York social circle. If the bubble matters to her - she'll hire the same Boston or NJ disc jockey her social circle identifies with. Paying the DJ or band to travel is no different than picking out the right dress for the occassion. It comes down to what is the bigger constraint: money or social conformity.

Proformance said:

Sawdust123 Just gave you the correct answer: working in a bubble. You can take the show anywhere on the planet and find the same group of like-minded people, and they will pay the travel to move the bubble where they want it to be.

I see the same entertainers with the same clients repeatedly even when the entertainment is not necessarily the freshest fruit of the day. There's a who's who of social elite in every social circle no matter the magnitude, and it's what has driven socialites since the Roman Empire.

As for locations - Yes, a bride from Kansas is very different than a bride in Boston EXCEPT for the Kansas bride who previously lived and was schooled in Boston and is now getting married in Kansas surrounded by her Bostson and New York social circle. If the bubble matters to her - she'll hire the same Boston or NJ disc jockey her social circle identifies with. Paying the DJ or band to travel is no different than picking out the right dress for the occassion. It comes down to what is the bigger constraint: money or social conformity.

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Again, this isn't 2005 or 2015... I truly encourage everyone on here to go on social media platforms where the 25-35 yr olds are aka instagram and tiktok.... especially tik tok as there's more content there. Don't look at posts from who you know... look at feeds from actual brides and couples posting about their wedding planning process, their expectations, their reasoning for their decisions and the choices they made. Look at how much they're spending, look at where they're directing their budget, and look at what they also DON'T like. The most common videos posted are brides saying "do what you want", not what your parents want, and not what others tell you to do or tell you is tradition. Here we have a bunch of people posting the couples don't know what they want or are uneducated.

The reason I get calls from out of state, is NOT bc the person hiring me has any association w/ NJ or went to college with people from NJ...it's because she didn't trust anyone locally to give them what they wanted and through word of mouth they found me. This is often from a relative who saw/heard of me or more commonly, they saw my posts from someone they knew who hired me or was at a wedding of mine and loved the music showcased and the energy and feel of the room.

Respectfully to most on here... there is not so much a regional aspect that comes in to play, but perhaps a generational one. Things are happening very differently than just 5 years ago.

Here's another example... perhaps more specific. Greek Wedding bands. I know many of them and talk to many of them. The biggest change they see is that they're no longer getting calls from parents, who traditionally booked them... but rather the bride/groom. They've had to change their whole communication style bc couples don't like phone calls. In addition, and the most notable change, is that they're playing less and less time at the wedding and they attributing that to the couple having more control of the wedding. Couples want the band for the older generation, but don't want them to take over the night. Whereas it was expected the band would play 50% or more of the night... some are being hired to play just 15%. They don't like it, but it is what it is and they recognize that the younger generation has taken over the wedding planning.

So when Jeff and I get similar lists with similar songs... but we present it completely different... I think it's because of the way we approach the list. I play with the couple's vision and desires in mind, whereas others try to cater to everyone on the dancefloor... not specifically the couple.

djtaso said:

Again, this isn't 2005 or 2015... I truly encourage everyone on here to go on social media platforms where the 25-35 yr olds are aka instagram and tiktok.... especially tik tok as there's more content there. Don't look at posts from who you know... look at feeds from actual brides and couples posting about their wedding planning process, their expectations, their reasoning for their decisions and the choices they made. Look at how much they're spending, look at where they're directing their budget, and look at what they also DON'T like. The most common videos posted are brides saying "do what you want", not what your parents want, and not what others tell you to do or tell you is tradition. Here we have a bunch of people posting the couples don't know what they want or are uneducated.

The reason I get calls from out of state, is NOT bc the person hiring me has any association w/ NJ or went to college with people from NJ...it's because she didn't trust anyone locally to give them what they wanted and through word of mouth they found me. This is often from a relative who saw/heard of me or more commonly, they saw my posts from someone they knew who hired me or was at a wedding of mine and loved the music showcased and the energy and feel of the room.

Respectfully to most on here... there is not so much a regional aspect that comes in to play, but perhaps a generational one. Things are happening very differently than just 5 years ago.

Here's another example... perhaps more specific. Greek Wedding bands. I know many of them and talk to many of them. The biggest change they see is that they're no longer getting calls from parents, who traditionally booked them... but rather the bride/groom. They've had to change their whole communication style bc couples don't like phone calls. In addition, and the most notable change, is that they're playing less and less time at the wedding and they attributing that to the couple having more control of the wedding. Couples want the band for the older generation, but don't want them to take over the night. Whereas it was expected the band would play 50% or more of the night... some are being hired to play just 15%. They don't like it, but it is what it is and they recognize that the younger generation has taken over the wedding planning.

So when Jeff and I get similar lists with similar songs... but we present it completely different... I think it's because of the way we approach the list. I play with the couple's vision and desires in mind, whereas others try to cater to everyone on the dancefloor... not specifically the couple.

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It's sounds to me that if Tik Tok or the Internet is taken away, that you would still do well, because as has been already stated, you serve a specific niche and your new clients come primarily from referrals and not necessarily your social media influence. I get it! That's how it was done before the web was created. Congratulations!

djtaso said:

I truly encourage everyone on here to go on social media platforms where the 25-35 yr olds are aka instagram and tiktok.... especially tik tok as there's more content there.

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You know that's the very definition of a' bubble' - right?

At some point a sustainable business requires an actual mission and not simply imitation. We can't be 25 years old for more than one year - and the 48 year old DJs still pretending they are "cool" with 25 year olds aren't living in reality if they think Instagram and Tik Tok is a winning strategy. I could go on. . . but now I want to read Mix's thread about making his comeback.

ProDJ Jose said:

It's sounds to me that if Tik Tok or the Internet is taken away, that you would still do well, because as has been already stated, you serve a specific niche and your new clients come primarily from referrals and not necessarily your social media influence. I get it! That's how it was done before the web was created. Congratulations!

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That's not entirely true. This is entertainment and at some point his age will become a barrier to sales and younger people will need to be the FACE of his product/service if he wants to continue selling to that same bubble.

Proformance said:

That's not entirely true. This is entertainment and at some point his age will become a barrier to sales and younger people will need to be the FACE of his product/service if he wants to continue selling to that same bubble.

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What's the matter with you? You never heard of the "stay young forever" medicine called Ozempic?

Proformance said:

You know that's the very definition of a' bubble' - right?

At some point a sustainable business requires an actual mission and not simply imitation. We can't be 25 years old for more than one year - and the 48 year old DJs still pretending they are "cool" with 25 year olds aren't living in reality if they think Instagram and Tik Tok is a winning strategy. I could go on. . . but now I want to read Mix's thread about making his comeback.

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I guess the majority of people have a vision that is within that "bubble" that you view as a negative characteristic. As a business though, I want to appeal to the most amount of people that are willing to pay my prices. To improve my chances I must connect very well with those age groups and be on top of where they get their inspiration and what they truly want. I'm not trying to be 'cool", I'm just being a good business owner and understanding what my clients are seeking.... Something that many, young and old, fail to do. I'm now over a decade older than many of the couples getting married yet I feel no disconnect from them.

Proformance said:

That's not entirely true. This is entertainment and at some point his age will become a barrier to sales and younger people will need to be the FACE of his product/service if he wants to continue selling to that same bubble.

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Yes and no... just depends on how you stay relevant. Many in this industry are well within their 40's, approaching 50, and are still very sought after, including some like Jani who charge $5k for sound only. Now is there a realistic age where a disconnect naturally begins... yes. and I do think that is around 50, which is why those that do this full time need an exit strategy as well.

ProDJ Jose said:

It's sounds to me that if Tik Tok or the Internet is taken away, that you would still do well, because as has been already stated, you serve a specific niche and your new clients come primarily from referrals and not necessarily your social media influence. I get it! That's how it was done before the web was created. Congratulations!

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It's not that I post on tik tok much (I do post on instagram almost daily though), but I do browse on there and take note of what is being said by other actual couples (not vendors) and their wedding experience. For example, there are significant numbers of videos from brides who are VERY annoyed with how vendors don't post prices... but the reactions are more insightful as it shows just about every bride now saying they don't contact vendors who don't post prices or at least a range. Point being, if you're not posting prices, you're likely losing a number of potential clients. In addition, most couples do not want to talk on the phone until they're confident they want to book you. It's vital to create an informative and excellent experience via email, as well as be responsive.

I do have a strong network which I'm fortunate to have. However, my network is stronger because of my social media content. People follow me for years and see what I post, and while they don't need my services at the time of introduction, 3 or 5 years later they might. By staying relevant and posting impressive content, I'm top of mind when it's their turn to get married.

Many will say that no bride cares about the dj... but I literally have 5 couples who at the moment have secured dates with me with no venue selected.

djtaso said:

It's not that I post on tik tok much (I do post on instagram almost daily though), but I do browse on there and take note of what is being said by other actual couples (not vendors) and their wedding experience. For example, there are significant numbers of videos from brides who are VERY annoyed with how vendors don't post prices... but the reactions are more insightful as it shows just about every bride now saying they don't contact vendors who don't post prices or at least a range. Point being, if you're not posting prices, you're likely losing a number of potential clients. In addition, most couples do not want to talk on the phone until they're confident they want to book you. It's vital to create an informative and excellent experience via email, as well as be responsive.

Many will say that no bride cares about the dj... but I literally have 5 couples who at the moment have secured dates with me with no venue selected.

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That's fantastic Taso. Thanks for sharing your philosophy.

I don't rely on the internet or social media to promote my services. That's why I don't pay for wedding directories or any other pay to play directories. I don't have videos or pics on social media, only the my mixes I choose to upload from time to time, and that's because I've been making mix tapes since 1980 and enjoy sharing them.

For years I relied on building relationships with my prior clients & some of the vendors that I had the pleasure of working with. The personal recommendations I receive kept me as busy as I wanted to be for many years before the pandemic.

I've been asked if I wanted to go to NYC to DJ for a prior client's daughter's Sweet 16 or Wedding, but turned them down. I'm not looking to travel hundreds of miles to provide a DJ Service. At the age of 59, I look at the risk of vehicle traveling much differently than I did when I was in my 20s, 30s, or 40s.

I still rely on WOM referrals to find new wedding clients, so those that are not interested in calling me, they can opt for a cheaper option from a wedding directory. Every multi op DJ company promises a personalized service, yet it's really a DIY service for the bride & groom looking for an affordable service.

I've managed to consistently attract my desired clients & get my price in a market that is still charging the prices of the 90s for a Wedding DJ service. My skills are unique and the trust I build with my clients is meant to last. That's because I really care about my clients, their guests, and even their event.

I wish you continued success in the future.

There are many clients who prefer many styles of entertainment, there is no one right way to do it, I’ve been very successful playing all of the big overplayed song for nearly 40 years, I charge more than most in my market with quality minimal gear and very little overhead costs

ProDJ Jose said:

That's fantastic Taso. Thanks for sharing your philosophy.

I don't rely on the internet or social media to promote my services. That's why I don't pay for wedding directories or any other pay to play directories. I don't have videos or pics on social media, only the my mixes I choose to upload from time to time, and that's because I've been making mix tapes since 1980 and enjoy sharing them.

For years I relied on building relationships with my prior clients & some of the vendors that I had the pleasure of working with. The personal recommendations I receive kept me as busy as I wanted to be for many years before the pandemic.

I've been asked if I wanted to go to NYC to DJ for a prior client's daughter's Sweet 16 or Wedding, but turned them down. I'm not looking to travel hundreds of miles to provide a DJ Service. At the age of 59, I look at the risk of vehicle traveling much differently than I did when I was in my 20s, 30s, or 40s.

I still rely on WOM referrals to find new wedding clients, so those that are not interested in calling me, they can opt for a cheaper option from a wedding directory. Every multi op DJ company promises a personalized service, yet it's really a DIY service for the bride & groom looking for an affordable service.

I've managed to consistently attract my desired clients & get my price in a market that is still charging the prices of the 90s for a Wedding DJ service. My skills are unique and the trust I build with my clients is meant to last. That's because I really care about my clients, their guests, and even their event.

I wish you continued success in the future.

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I think that's where age comes into play. By your age I'm not expecting to rely on djing as my income. In fact my financial goals/investment strategies have been built upon a phasing out in my early 50's. Your goals may be different than mine with a 20 yr gap. I'm still seeking to grow my business with increased revenue year over year and increase my average dollar per ticket... whereas you may be seeking to just hold steady or wind down (this is just speculation).

With that said, you did things flawlessy for the time period that your business primarily operated within and during a time where the internet and social media were not as established. But for those dj's that are trying to stand out/break through in todays market, build a strong foundation and a network that will allow them to thrive for 20+ years, a different approach is now needed. For example many of these couples who get recommendations now go to the website first and if they don't see a price they are likely to move on to someone else they've gotten a recommendation for. Unlike you, where you're so established that your clients are not just ones that hear about you, but have likely seen you at an event or have heard about you many times over the course of many years.

Another major difference between then and now. Bridal Shows... they're non existant now. People are just not getting exposed to vendors in that forum anymore.

djtaso said:

I think that's where age comes into play. By your age I'm not expecting to rely on djing as my income. In fact my financial goals/investment strategies have been built upon a phasing out in my early 50's. Your goals may be different than mine with a 20 yr gap. I'm still seeking to grow my business with increased revenue year over year and increase my average dollar per ticket... whereas you may be seeking to just hold steady or wind down (this is just speculation).

With that said, you did things flawlessy for the time period that your business primarily operated within and during a time where the internet and social media were not as established. But for those dj's that are trying to stand out/break through in todays market, build a strong foundation and a network that will allow them to thrive for 20+ years, a different approach is now needed. For example many of these couples who get recommendations now go to the website first and if they don't see a price they are likely to move on to someone else they've gotten a recommendation for. Unlike you, where you're so established that your clients are not just ones that hear about you, but have likely seen you at an event or have heard about you many times over the course of many years.

Another major difference between then and now. Bridal Shows... they're non existant now. People are just not getting exposed to vendors in that forum anymore.

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This was a long thread to read, but I will chime in about the age comment, and not being relevant any more starting around age 50 when it comes to weddings. I agree with that for the most part. I actually am planning on my last year being 2032/2033. After that, I might do the occasional gig, but I won't be "In Business" any more. I'll be 50/51 at that point. At some point in the next few years I'm going to reduce the number of events I do down to 15 or less per year, and work at that frequency of events until 2033.

Today I loaded back into storage after my event last night. Last night was my first event on 2024. After having 3 months off, I found myself feeling exhausted today after loading back into storage. Physically, I did not want to bother doing anything else today. I don't see myself dealing with all of the loading and unloading marching well into my 50s., and certainly don't want to think about doing this into my 60s.

My older brother is 50, turning 51 soon, and he is considering hanging it all up in 2-3, maybe 4 more years. He told me a couple months ago, he no longer sees himself continuing into his 60s as a DJ. My sister on the other hand says she is going to be doing it until she keels over, or no longer can physically walk LOL. I tell her that her biggest issue is going to be getting booked. I imagine it's real tough for an older woman to continue to book DJ events. I don't know any mobile lady DJs in their 60s still working. She might be entering the realm of the oldest mobile female DJs soon.

DJ Ricky B said:

This was a long thread to read, but I will chime in about the age comment, and not being relevant any more starting around age 50 when it comes to weddings. I agree with that for the most part. I actually am planning on my last year being 2032/2033. After that, I might do the occasional gig, but I won't be "In Business" any more. I'll be 50/51 at that point. At some point in the next few years I'm going to reduce the number of events I do down to 15 or less per year, and work at that frequency of events until 2033.

Today I loaded back into storage after my event last night. Last night was my first event on 2024. After having 3 months off, I found myself feeling exhausted today after loading back into storage. Physically, I did not want to bother doing anything else today. I don't see myself dealing with all of the loading and unloading marching well into my 50s., and certainly don't want to think about doing this into my 60s.

My older brother is 50, turning 51 soon, and he is considering hanging it all up in 2-3, maybe 4 more years. He told me a couple months ago, he no longer sees himself continuing into his 60s as a DJ. My sister on the other hand says she is going to be doing it until she keels over, or no longer can physically walk LOL. I tell her that her biggest issue is going to be getting booked. I imagine it's real tough for an older woman to continue to book DJ events. I don't know any mobile lady DJs in their 60s still working. She might be entering the realm of the oldest mobile female DJs soon.

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I think everyone has to make the best business plans for themselves. While for you, the physicality of the job takes a toll, for me that hasn't hit yet. Although I do make sure everything is on wheels and I always have help to minimize the lifting and physical toll. I think it gets harder around 50, but not necessarily impossible to be a solid wedding dj. Jose has proven to be able to have a solid business well into his 50's and I personally know numerous dj's commanding around $2000+ and are in their mid 50's now and have a solid reputation and strong social media presence. I think it absolutely becomes harder though, as that is the point where if you don't have a solid network, it'll be more challenging to be on top of the trends and breaking through the noise of the younger "trending" dj's who likely are very aggressive in their marketing. With that said, my goal is to continue to make a solid full time income up until around 50, preferably 55. I don't expect to stop, because like Jose, I hope a solid network built over the decades will still provide good revenue... perhaps not as much as my peak years. A dj friend of mine who is approaching his late 50's still works steadily, but now has a healthy mix of events from weddings to community events, birthdays, holiday parties etc. That's where I hope a strong investment strategy since my early 20's will help supplement things if needed until I no longer take events.

djtaso said:

I think everyone has to make the best business plans for themselves. While for you, the physicality of the job takes a toll, for me that hasn't hit yet. Although I do make sure everything is on wheels and I always have help to minimize the lifting and physical toll. I think it gets harder around 50, but not necessarily impossible to be a solid wedding dj. Jose has proven to be able to have a solid business well into his 50's and I personally know numerous dj's commanding around $2000+ and are in their mid 50's now and have a solid reputation and strong social media presence. I think it absolutely becomes harder though, as that is the point where if you don't have a solid network, it'll be more challenging to be on top of the trends and breaking through the noise of the younger "trending" dj's who likely are very aggressive in their marketing. With that said, my goal is to continue to make a solid full time income up until around 50, preferably 55. I don't expect to stop, because like Jose, I hope a solid network built over the decades will still provide good revenue... perhaps not as much as my peak years. A dj friend of mine who is approaching his late 50's still works steadily, but now has a healthy mix of events from weddings to community events, birthdays, holiday parties etc. That's where I hope a strong investment strategy since my early 20's will help supplement things if needed until I no longer take events.

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As long as I'm MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY fit, I'll continue to DJ because I'm still obsessed with recorded music and everything else about this line of work or hobby. I had no idea when I started making my own mixed tapes that I would make DJing my career. I often wonder how many millions of listens I would have had if I would have uploaded some of my mixes into a YT channel. But, it was not legal. I've done over a thousand mixes and I wish that more people had the opportunity to enjoy them. Creating mixes help me improve my knowledge of so many different genres of music, remixes, and songs. I believe that it's the secret to my success! DJs who only rely on the top 200 are so limited by what they can suggest a client and it's probably why lists of songs that are played out will continue to appear.

The solution is for DJs to familiarize themselves with as many great songs as possible so that they too can help clients create the soundtrack for their important events. See how I just brought the thread back on track?

ProDJ Jose said:

What's the matter with you? You never heard of the "stay young forever" medicine called Ozempic?

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"Oz" is a good description of where many people's head might be.

The way I see it is its a cultural thing. For some weddings and their guests some of those songs would work and some they would say what the heck is the DJ doing.