things that bore wedding guest to death
- Thread starter tunes4046
- Start date
It seems like they interviewed a bunch of ungrateful, snooty guests!
Every wedding Game I have done has been a major success with great crowd involvement, and lots of laughter. I have not noticed "Everybody just chatters among themselves, and isn't listening".
I do understand the "Big gap between ceremony and reception". Many of the older guests do not want to take 10+ hours out of their day for the wedding. What to do when a ceremony is at 2 pm, and is 30 minutes long, and the reception is 10 miles away at 5 or 6 pm. To me, that would be irritating. I have done a few where that was the situation.
For the cake cutting. I always try to get them to do that at the end of dinner. If it's already pre decided on a time line...I try to stretch it out. I mean who wants to start open dancing, play 4 to 6 songs, then go into the cake cutting out of no where when the dance floor JUST GOT PACKED! Either have a full hour of open dancing before doing the cake cutting, or do the cake cutting right after dinner and get it out of the way!
A few of my brides even had the cake cutting before dinner right after the intro. I thought that was interesting. What was great about it is that the guests were TOTALLY INVOLVED in the cake cutting at that point in time. Bride/Groom cut the cake, and then it was simply cut and served by staff later on at end of dinner.
Every wedding Game I have done has been a major success with great crowd involvement, and lots of laughter. I have not noticed "Everybody just chatters among themselves, and isn't listening".
I do understand the "Big gap between ceremony and reception". Many of the older guests do not want to take 10+ hours out of their day for the wedding. What to do when a ceremony is at 2 pm, and is 30 minutes long, and the reception is 10 miles away at 5 or 6 pm. To me, that would be irritating. I have done a few where that was the situation.
For the cake cutting. I always try to get them to do that at the end of dinner. If it's already pre decided on a time line...I try to stretch it out. I mean who wants to start open dancing, play 4 to 6 songs, then go into the cake cutting out of no where when the dance floor JUST GOT PACKED! Either have a full hour of open dancing before doing the cake cutting, or do the cake cutting right after dinner and get it out of the way!
A few of my brides even had the cake cutting before dinner right after the intro. I thought that was interesting. What was great about it is that the guests were TOTALLY INVOLVED in the cake cutting at that point in time. Bride/Groom cut the cake, and then it was simply cut and served by staff later on at end of dinner.
I will say this..My BIGGEST Pet Peeve about guests at weddings are the people who show up. Stay for Dinner, Eat their dinner, and as soon as Dinner is over they make their way out the door. I understand if a 80+ year old grand parents cant take the partying, or have health issues, but people of other ages doing that...That is just rude to me.
The Bride and Groom and/or their parents spent a lot of money on that wedding. The Least people can do is stay, mingle, and relax if they refuse to dance. Nobody should be leaving more than an hour prior to the reception end.
The Bride and Groom and/or their parents spent a lot of money on that wedding. The Least people can do is stay, mingle, and relax if they refuse to dance. Nobody should be leaving more than an hour prior to the reception end.
Good article and I agree with most of it. I had a bride a few years ago that wanted to do a special dance with each of her children - one at a time - each with their own song. Boring! When do the guests get to start dancing?
Slide shows are often funny and entertaining if they aren't too long. The boring part is waiting for it to start. Whoever is in charge usually lacks experience and can't get it working!
Long speeches… don't we advise (when possible) to keep speeches short? Most aren't very good at giving speeches and if it goes on and on … when do we eat?
It's rare for me to have cake cutting at a bad time. This only happens for those that want a loose reception.
Bad music is usually the fault of couples that give the DJ a Long do play list.
Receiving lines? Not done as often now days. They add a personal touch but can take too long. Depends on how many guests are present.
A long gap between ceremony and reception is bad planning. Not just boring, but frustrating.
Long readings - like long speeches, should be cut down to a few minutes.
The Newlywed game gets laughs and doesn't last for more than a few minutes. Along with other games, great if no one is dancing.
A lot of boring moments can be avoided with better planning. I don't know how to tell someone that's prepared a long speech to keep it short. That should have been suggested before they wrote it.
Slide shows are often funny and entertaining if they aren't too long. The boring part is waiting for it to start. Whoever is in charge usually lacks experience and can't get it working!
Long speeches… don't we advise (when possible) to keep speeches short? Most aren't very good at giving speeches and if it goes on and on … when do we eat?
It's rare for me to have cake cutting at a bad time. This only happens for those that want a loose reception.
Bad music is usually the fault of couples that give the DJ a Long do play list.
Receiving lines? Not done as often now days. They add a personal touch but can take too long. Depends on how many guests are present.
A long gap between ceremony and reception is bad planning. Not just boring, but frustrating.
Long readings - like long speeches, should be cut down to a few minutes.
The Newlywed game gets laughs and doesn't last for more than a few minutes. Along with other games, great if no one is dancing.
A lot of boring moments can be avoided with better planning. I don't know how to tell someone that's prepared a long speech to keep it short. That should have been suggested before they wrote it.
Wow, I've never seen the shoe game (newlywed game) miss yet. A lot of the stuff is spot on though.
Anything can be done wrong. Things that go on way too long can certainly bore people. Games, speeches, dances, done at the right time, and well done with the right amount of time, won't bore a crowd.
It's kind of like saying people don't like to eat chicken at weddings anymore because someone went to a wedding and had chicken that tasted bad.
It's kind of like saying people don't like to eat chicken at weddings anymore because someone went to a wedding and had chicken that tasted bad.
Interrupting the dancing for cake or ANYTHING is stupid. Once it starts, don't stop it.
A Few Observations/Opinions Regarding Games, Videos and Speeches
I firmly believe that it depends on the demographic, but have found games to be the number one annoyance during my experience. So much so, that I stopped them completely after my 5th year in the business which then became an effective selling point for me. Videos should be run on a silent loop and unless someone is a great speaker or storyteller, speeches should be left short and sweet.
Right out of the gate, guests can expect to be organized participants for the ceremony, entrance, first/parent dances, toasts and cake. From that point on, many people would welcome a free-form format of good music, socializing and tasty beverages.
If they don't fare well on their own, then by all means give the routines a shot. Other than that, don't try to fix what isn't yet broken.
I firmly believe that it depends on the demographic, but have found games to be the number one annoyance during my experience. So much so, that I stopped them completely after my 5th year in the business which then became an effective selling point for me. Videos should be run on a silent loop and unless someone is a great speaker or storyteller, speeches should be left short and sweet.
Right out of the gate, guests can expect to be organized participants for the ceremony, entrance, first/parent dances, toasts and cake. From that point on, many people would welcome a free-form format of good music, socializing and tasty beverages.
If they don't fare well on their own, then by all means give the routines a shot. Other than that, don't try to fix what isn't yet broken.
I pretty much agree with all 9 items, even the bad music one.
First of all, many of those annoyances are NOT annoying to the bride, groom, or their families.
Of course the guests don't like them. Most of them have no emotional attachment to what is happening.
Much like the BAD MUSIC....perhaps it is just what the b/g wanted.
First of all, many of those annoyances are NOT annoying to the bride, groom, or their families.
Of course the guests don't like them. Most of them have no emotional attachment to what is happening.
Much like the BAD MUSIC....perhaps it is just what the b/g wanted.
The newlywed game/shoe game always works for me as well. Maybe it's a regional thing or something? I always suggest the cake cutting start almost as soon as the last people sit down from the dinner line, followed by the toasts (so that the people cutting the cake can get them cut). In fact I've never stopped a dance to do a cake cutting. I will for a dollar dance (an hour or so do the garter , bouquet, and dollar dance) but never a cake cutting.
The rest I agree with
The rest I agree with
Long, boring speeches or what used to be called toasts, I agree with. The bridesmaid's or best man's toast was once just that. A brief word of encouragement and best wishes for the future.
Toasts have become roasts. Honestly, does anyone really care that the bride fell off an amusement park ride as a child? Or that, as teenagers the groom and his buddies were caught drinking beer behind the barn?
If that's not boring enough for you, give it time. The B&G's co-workers can't wait get ahold of the mic.
It's little wonder why many guests up and leave after dinner.
Toasts have become roasts. Honestly, does anyone really care that the bride fell off an amusement park ride as a child? Or that, as teenagers the groom and his buddies were caught drinking beer behind the barn?
If that's not boring enough for you, give it time. The B&G's co-workers can't wait get ahold of the mic.
It's little wonder why many guests up and leave after dinner.
It's interesting, getting to hear how the rest of you run your timelines. Not saying either way is wrong or right but personally, I don't like to have a continuous, 2 or 3 hours dance set. Now granted, I don't like having a photographer who stops a great dance set in order to assemble a full-family shot on the dance floor, but I preach to my clients that they should space out their room focus events so you never have any one thing running more than about 30-45 minutes. When clients ask me how to structure the evening, here is what I usually recommend:
Cocktails
Grand Entrance
First Dance
Blessing
Dinner
Parent Dances
Anniversary dance
open dance set (30-45 minutes)
Cake
Toasts
dance set (1 hour)
Bouquet/Garter
dancing the rest of the evening
Exit
My hype is that I'm playing off everyone's ADD, so they never really hit that "everything's over" feeling which always precipitates the mid-party, mass exit that we all dread. I usually run my playlists much in the same manner. Work 4-song rotations where I'm flipping genres and feels constantly. I know the above would drive a bunch of you guys batty but it works for me.
Beers and more beer (especially free beer)
Grand entrance ( wedding party dance)
Dinner (especially free again)
Open dancing @ 1 hour
First dance,Father/daughter,and all that other crap!
More open dancing 30'to 60
Cake cutting song (something not too dancy) with announcement of the cake cutting.
Back to open dancing
Bouquet and garter
Open dance
Keep in mind I am just starting weddings!!!!!!! This is just how the last one that I did with the wedding planner.
Grand entrance ( wedding party dance)
Dinner (especially free again)
Open dancing @ 1 hour
First dance,Father/daughter,and all that other crap!
More open dancing 30'to 60
Cake cutting song (something not too dancy) with announcement of the cake cutting.
Back to open dancing
Bouquet and garter
Open dance
Keep in mind I am just starting weddings!!!!!!! This is just how the last one that I did with the wedding planner.
This is how mine usually go
Cocktails/hor d'oeuvres/general mingling
Grand Introduction
Dinner
Cake Cutting
Toasts
First Dance
F/D
M/S
open dancing (30 mins-hour)
Bouquet
Garter
Dollar Dance
Any games (shoe game, etc)
Open Dance (2-3 hours)
Last Dance
End
I also try to run 3-4 song sets and the flip the genre, usually with some sort of connection (for example from Twist and Shout by the Beatle into Down At The Twist and Shout by Mary Chapin Carpenter, House Party by Sam Hunt in Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus) particularly early in the evening.
Cocktails/hor d'oeuvres/general mingling
Grand Introduction
Dinner
Cake Cutting
Toasts
First Dance
F/D
M/S
open dancing (30 mins-hour)
Bouquet
Garter
Dollar Dance
Any games (shoe game, etc)
Open Dance (2-3 hours)
Last Dance
End
I also try to run 3-4 song sets and the flip the genre, usually with some sort of connection (for example from Twist and Shout by the Beatle into Down At The Twist and Shout by Mary Chapin Carpenter, House Party by Sam Hunt in Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus) particularly early in the evening.
Here is how it usually rolls for us, personally the fewer formalities the better. Its funny most photographers want to get everything done and I like to do the bouquet and garter, later because it will only be their younger family or friends. And I can get people dancing, I had one a few weeks ago. Other than their intro and first dance and toast. That was all they wanted they wanted a dance party.
I thought it would not require much work on my part. But they also had a band and they had never done a wedding so I also did a little MC for them and getting people on the dance floor. The specialty was 70's and blues and this was a big younger crowd. It worked out great though and I had more fun not do the same old thing. )
1. Intro Wedding Party
2. Grand Entrance
3. First Dance
4. Blessing (If they do one)
5. Dinner
6. Toasts
7. Cake
8. Father & Daughter
9. Mother & Son
10. If they do a money dance or anniversary dance then usually here
11. Open Dance 1/2 hour to 45 Minutes
12. Bouquet & Garter (Unless Photographer leaves early and then right before open dance)
13. Open Dance
14. Last Dance
I thought it would not require much work on my part. But they also had a band and they had never done a wedding so I also did a little MC for them and getting people on the dance floor. The specialty was 70's and blues and this was a big younger crowd. It worked out great though and I had more fun not do the same old thing. )
1. Intro Wedding Party
2. Grand Entrance
3. First Dance
4. Blessing (If they do one)
5. Dinner
6. Toasts
7. Cake
8. Father & Daughter
9. Mother & Son
10. If they do a money dance or anniversary dance then usually here
11. Open Dance 1/2 hour to 45 Minutes
12. Bouquet & Garter (Unless Photographer leaves early and then right before open dance)
13. Open Dance
14. Last Dance
I tend to agree that I like to spread things out a bit to try and give people a reason to stay a bit longer but what if we don't have the luxury of being the master of the timeline?
And even if acting as MC or wedding planner, if the photo/videographer is only contracted for x number of hours or up until a certain time but they want to get pics of all the important moments then it becomes part of our duty to make it all happen within their time frame, not ours.
If you wonder why the photog/videographer wants all the important stuff done right away, that's probably the reason. If acting as MC or planner, that becomes part of our job to know what hours they are contracted for and adjust our timeline accordingly.
And even if acting as MC or wedding planner, if the photo/videographer is only contracted for x number of hours or up until a certain time but they want to get pics of all the important moments then it becomes part of our duty to make it all happen within their time frame, not ours.
If you wonder why the photog/videographer wants all the important stuff done right away, that's probably the reason. If acting as MC or planner, that becomes part of our job to know what hours they are contracted for and adjust our timeline accordingly.
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That happened to me this past weekend. Groom only had the photog contracted until 7:30p and they didn't start the reception until 7p. I ran GE, 1st, BF, GM and cake all back to back in order to get it done in time.
We are very rural here, most couples are concerned with farmers getting home, and grandma and grandpa not being out too late, we try to have most of the formal stuff done by 9, also for some reason that seams to be the time most of the photogs are booked to, lord knows they don't want to stay a minute later than they have to