A minister's advice for wedding entertainment

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B

Bill Kexel

Well-Known DJ
Dec 5, 2006
2,097
59
63
Phoenix, AZ
The other night I was sitting in a Starbucks waiting to meet with a prospective bride & groom. (bride & groom's location choice) Sitting at the next table was a wedding minister & a prospective bride & groom.

The minister's voice carried so well, I could hear everything he was saying to them. He was asking them questions about their wedding plans. One of the questions was about their choice for entertainment. They had said they weren't sure, but were leaning towards rigging up an MP3 player.

This idiot Minister, told them that this was a great choice, they can save a lot of money & play the music THEY want to hear rather than pay a DJ that will play his favorites. He said he always suggests this to couples. In this day & age it makes no sense to hire a DJ especially what they charge & couples can create their own playlists.

I could not take it any longer. This guy was an idiot. I wanted to step in & educate this couple properly on the pros & cons of wedding entertainment and that a good wedding DJ can make their event a true success. Why are they accepting entertainment advice from this guy?

I also wanted to suggest to the bride & groom that they can truly save money by asking one of their family members or friends to perform the ceremony. In AZ anyone can go online & get ordained & there are many websites where you can gather ceremony scripts, this way their ceremony would have a more "Personal feel". (give him a taste of his own medicine)....................But, before I could do that, my prospective couple showed up & now my attention had to be focused on them.

To get involved in their conversation/hand them my business card with my prospective clients there would appear rather cheesey. I would love to find out who that minister was!

What would you do?
 
As I have before to vendors , they do their job I'll do mine, comes to mind a caterer saying pick up the music during ordourves,,
or you could have got up and said , this is how I make my church pledge, thank you,,,
 
Hank Davidson said:
UNBELIEVABLE!

Two simultaneous wedding consults at the same Highbucks?









....Well, that's what you get when you do business in a coffee house.
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There I corrected that for you!
 
I would have said, "Excuse me for butting in but I just can't help hearing you give these two lovely people the worst advice on what would be their most memorable day. While you are at it, why don't you teach them to make their own Wedding Cake. As a Wedding professional myself, I am horrified that you are trying to place them on a path to disaster on their Special Day." I would then hand them my card and tell them I would be happy to answer any questions they may have.
 
Hank Davidson said:
UNBELIEVABLE!

Two simultaneous wedding consults at the same Starbucks?
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I have actually witnessed 2 other wedding vendors (besides myself) all at the same time meeting with brides at a Starbucks. Me, Another DJ, and a photographer.

In our area it is popular to meet brides at a public, neutral location. (paranoia?...brides don't want to go into a stranger's home & visa-versa)
 
I would suggest one thing Bill. Skip starbucks its become a zoo over the years I have found much quieter yet acceptable locations to have these type meetings. I prefer in my office but sometimes you must accomodate and bend a bit for potentials as the meeting place shouldnt be a deal breaker. I prefer a place where the customer is focused on my presentation and giving their needs priority versus distractions. Time to scout out other options. Ive used several other locations and gave up Starbucks 3 yrs ago to gain back control of my meeting attention.
 
Bill Kexel said:
I have actually witnessed 2 other wedding vendors (besides myself) all at the same time meeting with brides at a Starbucks. Me, Another DJ, and a photographer.

In our area it is popular to meet brides at a public, neutral location. (paranoia?...brides don't want to go into a stranger's home & visa-versa)
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It's most likely popular here too. I was being mostly facetious. :triwink:
However, at the same time, I have never had a refusal or conflict with the "visa-versa".
Look at it this way. If you were secluded, you would have never have had to listen to or compete with Reverend iPod.

:tricool:
 
A few weeks ago my wife & I met a couple at a Cracker barrell a few hours from our house, we ate supper, chatted , told war stories and signed the deal, have also met at Sbucks, we have a business location for our florist so sometimes they come in and double dip.
 
Bill Kexel said:
To get involved in their conversation/hand them my business card with my prospective clients there would appear rather cheesey. I would love to find out who that minister was!

What would you do?
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a) Not have eavesdropped in on the conversation.
b) Not have held a meeting in a public place ("a" would not have been a possibility).
...
d) You didn't want to hear "c". ;)
 
I would have told the couple that in this day and time, they didn't need to hire a minister. If they hired me, I would officiate the ceremony and allow them to pick any special music and we could personalize the vows. This way they'd have great entertainment and still save some money. To waste money on somebody talking for 20 minutes is ridiculous when you're already hiring a public speaker that can do just as good of a job or even better.
 
I definitely would have chimed in... while it may have been a private meeting, it was in a public place. There's no harm in dropping your card on the table and saying "excuse me... I just wanted to congratulate you on your engagement; let me know if I can help you out in any way".

You don't need to call out the minister on his opinion; that won't solve anything. And truth be told, the couple was considering using an iPod, so you're already facing a steep uphill battle. But by cutting in for just a few seconds, you're standing up for yourself and your profession. There's no harm in that.

Of course, you could mention that another minister in the area raves about your services, or be a real jerk and tell them that they'll still need to pay the church organist his stipend even if they plan to use an mp3 player for the ceremony. The possibilities are endless.
 
Like I said, this was THEIR choice to meet at the Starbucks.
Usually, I meet with the prospective couple at the venue where the event will be held.
To me this is a win-win choice. you can walkaround & discuss the logistics of where you will set up, Etc. and the venue usually has an area where you can discuss without any distractions. (nuetral location)

Even though I have an office in my home, I prefer to not have strangers coming to my home, and I know that the majority of the brides in my market area feel the same way about inviting a stranger into their home, especially if they do not live with their parents, etc.
Exception: After the contracts are signed it may be a different story.

But I personally feel it's best to have the initial/first meeting in a PUBLIC NUETRAL LOCATION. Both parties are more comfortable.
A few years ago, a woman was raped & murdered by a "salesperson" she invited into her home.
Many people here are still uneasy about it.

But to get back to the orginal topic, don't you think it would be kind of tasteless to turn your attention away from your prospective clients to hand someone else your business card? I'm not comfortable doing it.

BTW...the couple that I met with booked me at my full rate (for a Fri. night gig)
 
As tempting as it would have been to "pipe" up and try save a potential disaster....it really wasn't your place to do so.

While "ease dropping" was a non issue based on a public place....and the loudness of the conversation.....it wasn't your conversation. What if they were talking about another subject in which the whole party was wrong based on their interpretations on a subject matter that you knew the truth. While it would be great to "butt in and set the record straight".....it wasn't your conversation.

Sometimes a person just needs to shrug your shoulders and turn a deaf ear and a blind eye in certain situations. This according to what was said, would be a time where I would personally have done just that....and I will admit...it would be super tough for me to have done so.

And the comment with the mp3 player....since this was a possible option for the bride and groom already...let them do just that.

I really dont think there is a right or a wrong answer on this topic. Because lets play the "what if" game. Lets just say you did talk to them and booked a $2000 booking or whatever it may be. You saved the bride and groom disaster....well good for you. Let's say you don't save the day...and you come off as an arrogant dj pushing your services...trust me...that could easily backfire. It shouldn't....but guess what....it can easily happen.

Sometimes it's better to play it safe.
 
If I were that couple and a DJ butted in...I would have been more than happy to take their card. Then on the way out make sure that the DJ saw me drop his card into the trash can.

Its just plain rude to butt into someone's conversation regardless if its in a public place.
 
Papa Deuce said:
I have to ask what the hell the minister was doing talking about wedding entertainment to begin with.
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It's called "being a suck-up". Yes, it's rude to butt into another person's conversation but as a wedding professional and considering the level of stupidity he was displaying, I would've made the attempt. The line "You're taking entertainment advice from a preacher?" comes to mind. This couple deserved better.
 
DJMN said:
I really dont think there is a right or a wrong answer on this topic. Because lets play the "what if" game. Lets just say you did talk to them and booked a $2000 booking or whatever it may be. You saved the bride and groom disaster....well good for you. Let's say you don't save the day...and you come off as an arrogant dj pushing your services...trust me...that could easily backfire. It shouldn't....but guess what....it can easily happen.

Sometimes it's better to play it safe.
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Ah, but you're making the assumption that the DJ would pitch HIS OWN service. The smart play in this case would be to politely tell them, "Excuse me but I couldn't help over-hearing your conversation. May I join you?" Id then take apart the suck-up's (preacher) "advice", politely, and piece-by-piece. Once I'd given them an education, I'd go quiet and let them respond. If they rejected my advice, I'd smile, wish them well and leave. If they took my advice I wouldn't have to offer a biz card, they'd be asking for it in their next breath.

If you don't want to come off as pushy then it's simple; don't be pushy.
 
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