Weddings Is it time to stop focusing on Weddings?

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Proformance said:
Both require you to be physically present.

Like anything friendships fall on a continuum. The friendship may exist in one setting and not in others. This is what defines acquaintances which tend to have clearly implicit situational, locational, vocational, community, and interpersonal boundaries. An acquaintance is quite unlikely to show up at your door unannounced, and you would be caught off-guard if they did.



This is sort of what I mean. A friendship has changed and is bounded by distance and lives which are no longer similar or intertwined. We can communicate (narrate) but, likely don't actually socialize with one another anymore. What's missing is the physical presence - because, when this person says they are "okay" we have to take that at face value. When a friend shows up at the door and says they are "okay" it's usually pretty obvious if they are or are not.

That's what really defines friendship - someone who is physically and emotionally present, available to communicate more than a narrative - to speak and hear with more than just words. This is often even different than how we relate to our own family. You get one or two people like that in your life and you are very lucky. If you have many people like that then you are a rare soul, indeed.

Much of that reality is lost on the Facebook generation where being "seen" is valued more than being engaged.
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Alright, you got me, I agree with you but I'm only on my second cup of coffee. :)

I still don't think friendship *requires* presence. It's a whole easier to maintain a friendship if you have physical proximity and are on the same 'track' in life but not necessary. I'd be surprised to all hell if my Florida friend showed up at my doorstep mainly because of the distance between us but I'd be happy to see him and throw on a pot coffee.

Agree on you having to take an "I'm okay" at face value but for the people we know intimately you can tell if something isn't Kosher just by their voice.

A lot of people that I'd say are friends are actually acquaintances. I don't go out of my way to say hello to them or what have you but if I bump in the them in the store, a quick hello and catch up on what's going on with each other is the norm. Of course, these aren't people that I'd call at 3am after my girlfriend just sent me packing saying "Where did I go wrong?" :D

Agreed about the Facebook generation's vanity and put it all out there to be seen. On the other hand I'm right on the cusp of the millenial generation. I enjoy the social utility factor of Facebook. I interact with a lot more people (long distance family and local aqaintances) than I would without Facebook that's it's only use for me.
 
Here are some statistic from THE KNOT down below!

Weddings are here to stay. There might be LESS weddings moving forward compared to the amount of population in a given area, BUT...they will never go away. That article is biased, and only cites the opinions of a few college kids who are only selfishly thinking about themselves. 10 years from now their opinions will be different.

Most people will want to get married. It is natural. And MOST people will want at least one child.

03/27/2014: TheKnot.com Releases 2013 Wedding Statistics
– Largest survey in US – 13,000 brides – finds average wedding budget in America rising despite more casual weddings –

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NEW YORK (March 27, 2014) – XO Group Inc. (NYSE: XOXO), a global media and technology leader and creator of the top wedding website TheKnot.com, today released the results of its annual Real Weddings Study. This comprehensive report surveyed nearly 13,000 US brides and grooms married in 2013. TheKnot.com 2013 Real Weddings Study captures detailed information on the average cost of a wedding, average number of wedding guests, wedding style trends and other key statistics related to weddings in America.

“Wedding budgets have been increasing steadily since the economic downturn of 2008, and in 2013, couples spent a record high average of nearly $30,000,” said Carley Roney, cofounder of The Knot. “Couples are more focused than ever on creating a unique, personalized and once-in-a-lifetime experience for their guests – plus they’re doing so in a modern way, by planning from their smartphones, publicizing details on social media and more.”

Top 2013 Wedding Statistics

  • Average Wedding Cost: $29,858 (excludes honeymoon)
    • Most Expensive Place to Get Married: Manhattan, $86,916 average spend
    • Least Expensive Place to Get Married: Idaho, $16,159 average spend
    • Average Spent on a Wedding Dress: $1,281
    • Average Marrying Age: Bride, 29; Groom, 31
    • Average Number of Guests: 138
    • Average Number of Bridesmaids: 4 to 5
    • Average Number of Groomsmen: 4 to 5
    • Most Popular Month to Get Engaged: December (16%)
    • Average Length of Engagement: 14 months
    • Most Popular Month to Get Married: June and September (15% each)
    • Popular Wedding Colors: Blue (35%), Purple (26%), Pink (25%), Metallics (25%)
    • Percentage of Destination Weddings: 24%

Top 2013 Wedding Trends

GROWING BUDGETS. Couples are spending more on their weddings than ever. Following the trend of growing budgets for the past two years, wedding budgets are at an all-time high with the average wedding cost hitting $29,858, the highest level ever. Less couples (20%) say the economy affected their wedding budget – a statistic that has continually decreased year over year, since reaching an all-time high of 34% in 2009. Wedding standards also continue to rise, in fact, about 1 in 8 couples (14%) spent more than $40,000 on their nuptials, and nearly 1 in 4 (24%) didn’t even have a budget.

GUESTS CONQUER ALL. Couples are concentrating on creating an experience for guests. Not only did spend per guest increase to $220, up nearly $26 per guest from 2009 when couples spent $194 per guest, but guest entertainment continues to gain popularity. This rapidly rising category only continues to grow – in 2013, nearly 1 in 3 couples (30%) provided additional guest entertainment, compared with just 11% in 2009. Additionally, while the number of brides who throw a rehearsal dinner, after-party or morning-after brunch has remained steady, brides are spending more money on these events. In 2013, brides spent an average of $1,184 on their rehearsal dinners (up from $1,135 in 2012) and $457 on their morning-after brunch (up from $429 in 2012).

TRADITIONS CONTINUE TO EVOLVE. Couples are foregoing some traditions to modernize their nuptials. Couples are becoming more liberal in their prewedding lifestyles; nearly 3 in 4 couples (74%) now opt to live together prior to getting married. Casual weddings are also on the rise, with 17% of brides classifying their weddings as casual in 2013, up from 12% in 2008. Along the same lines, couples aren’t marrying in religious institutions as much as they used to; just 33% chose to do so in 2013, down from 41% in 2009. While the majority of brides still opt to take their spouse’s last name (80%), this tradition is becoming less popular, down from 2009 when a whopping 86% changed their last names. Similarly, 1 in 10 (10%) brides kept their names in 2013, up from just 7% of brides who chose to do so in 2009.

SEASONAL SHIFTS. Summer is slowly making its way out of style as the wedding season. Summer is generally defined as wedding season, however, the trend toward beautiful summer weddings is shifting. In 2013, 35% of couples opted for sunshine-filled nuptials, down from 2009 when 41% of couples opted for the season. In recent years, fall has been making headway as the “new” wedding season, but the rise of fall weddings is pausing. In 2013, 32% of couples chose the season, down from its high of 36% in 2011. Spring is gaining traction with couples who aren’t afraid of April showers; 26% of brides chose pretty spring weddings, up from 22% in 2011. Winter is also coming from behind to give couples gorgeous snow-filled portraits; though still the minority, 7% of couples chose a winter wedding in 2013, up from 5% in 2012.

PERSONALIZATION AT A PEAK. Weddings are the ultimate form of self-expression. The trend in weddings for many years has been to create a personalized experience, where the couples’ personalities are evident in many areas of the wedding. This trend is on the rise, with couples opting for unique details like signature wedding cocktails, which 20% of couples had, up from just 12% in 2008, and hosting interactive food stations (15% of weddings in 2013, up from 13% in 2010). Couples are also personalizing their ceremonies into unique, touching experiences with a family member or friend officiating – just 57% of couples hired a professional ceremony officiant, down from 63% of couples who did so in 2009.


Top 25 Most Expensive Places to Get Married

Based on average cost of a wedding in 2013, couples spend the most on their weddings in the following areas in US.
  1. New York City (Manhattan): $86,916
    • Long Island: $57,343
    • North/Central New Jersey: $51,287
    • Chicago: $48,449
    • NYC Outer Boroughs: $47,121
    • Santa Barbara/Ventura, CA: $44,214
    • Rhode Island: $42,469
    • Westchester/Hudson Valley, NY: $42,444
    • Connecticut: $41,745
    • Philadelphia: $40,350
    • Los Angeles: $38,735
    • South New Jersey: $38,620
    • Washington, DC/Northern Virginia/suburban Maryland: $37,487
    • Southern Florida (Miami, Fort Lauderdale and surrounding areas): $37,210
    • Boston: $35,512
    • Houston: $35,475
    • Louisiana: $35,008*
    • Lehigh Valley/Poconos, PA: $34,488*
    • San Francisco: $33,836
    • Orange County/Inland Empire, CA: $32,021
    • Baltimore: $31,964
    • Chicago Suburbs, IL: $31,489*
    • Detroit: $31,044*
    • San Diego: $30,885
    • Maine: $29,854*
*New to Top 25 List in 2013

2013 Average Wedding Budget Breakdown
Category 2013 National Average Spend 2012 National Average Spend
Overall Wedding (excluding honeymoon) $29,858 ↑ $28,427
Venue (reception hall) $13,385 ↑ $12,905
Photographer $2,440 ↑ $2,379
Wedding/Event Planner $1,874 ↑ $1,847
Reception Band $3,469 ↑ $3,084
Reception DJ $1,038 ↑ $988
Florist/Décor $2,069 ↑ $1,997
Videographer $1,700 ↑ $1,619
Wedding Dress $1,281 ↑ $1,211
Groom’s Tuxedo $248 ↑ $230
Wedding Cake $546 ↓ $560
Ceremony Site $1,793 ↑ $1,711
Ceremony Musicians $588 ↑ $554
Invitations $443 ↓ $453
Limousine $732 ↑ $708
Favors $281 ↓ $289
Rehearsal Dinner $1,184 ↑ $1,135
Engagement Ring $5,598 ↑ $5,431
Catering (price per person) $66 ↑ $63
Officiant $260 ↑ $246
Figures based on respondents who hired a professional vendor for the service.
 
Yup...and of course SOME brides might inflate the numbers as to what they actually spent to make themselves feel better, BUT it's probably a fair survey show casing the trends in the market. ...Not a GREAT base line for showing these things, but I think it's fairly accurate.

The numbers seem to be in line with what I see at middle level to upper tier weddings.

I would certainly say couples ARE SPENDING MORE on weddings today than they were back in 2009. I can notice that with ease as soon as I walk into a venue, AND I am certainly charging, and earning more money than I did back in 2009. Of course that was the height of the recession, so not a fair comparison.

I must say the $13,000 mark on venues is certainly high...That is probably becoming of the surveyed KNOT user, but that is RARE in my area. A high end venue here is charging $6,000. ...I would have to go into D.C. to see 13K venues.
 
Weddings are on the decline, have been for a few years. Will gay marriage change this or not? And enough to make a difference?

Things are changing (arent' they always?)

the reasons for marriage - economic, religious, social (children), peer, parental/generational are lessening.

And talking to a 24ish guy he's frustrated at the dating scene - girls don't want to exchange phone numbers, just snapchat or instagram names.
 
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