Butt kissing other vendors

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In Rick's thread he talked about having trouble with a photographer and I said I kiss butt with a lot of vendors.

Example: A couple years ago I had 4 weddings in 4 weeks at a Venue that is about an hour away. Each week I would talk to the manager and owner and basically suck up to them. I am also a DJ who likes to make sure the manager and owner knows I am in their house and I will play by their rules. At this venue, the owner's retire father is the door man for every wedding. He is is full tux with tail and carries a cane. I chat with him often and have even seen him at other weddings and he and his wife always are just pleasant to talk to.

One day I snapped a photo of him outside and used Send out Cards and sent a card to the owner with his photo on front. On the card I wrote "Welcome to Lakeside" because he says that to everyone when they walk in. I also wrote a nice note to the owner about how much I enjoy working there with the staff and the manager. The owner used that photo to make a flyer for his birthday party they had for him at the venue.

Just from that $2.00 card, and the butt kissing, I have a yearly show each Halloween there, I was asked to DJ and emcee their chili cook off they had one year, I just DJ'd a 50th wedding anniversary there last week from their referral ($600 on a Sunday afternoon, not too shabby) and I keep getting more and more referrals from them.

I just sent a card to the venue I was at Saturday night. I was set up and change early and I helped the manager light candles and a couple other things and we had a great conversation about different things. One comment from her was, "I am going to have to give you half of the $10 we charged them for lighting these candles". We joked about it and in the card, I wrote, "Kristy, you forgot to give me that $5.00 for helping you light all those candles. You can catch me next time.

The front of the card has a picture of the manager and the owner's daughter who was helping out and used to be the manager there. So I know her well.

When we talked, she said I was one of the best and nicest DJs she has worked with. I asked her as a joke, "What is the best way to get you to hand out my card, being nice or being a jerk?" and she said of course being nice.

Some may not want to suck up or kiss butt, but I run my business on easily 40% referrals, 40% from them seeing me and 20% website.

Worth it to me.
 

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Karl,
It's not brown nosing, it's communication ;)
 
I guess that is a good way to look at it. And free advertising.
 
Kissing butt is when ya lay it on too thick as Jake said communicating is always a bonus. Helping build relationships when possible with your vendor team is always a plus.
 
I make every effort to work with all vendors at each event. It's this attention that has helped me be recognized and recommended by many of them. And, as I grow my service area, I'm finding more and more vendors to network with.

Just a few weeks ago, as I forged into new territory, I was able to give out cards and info to a cake company, event decorator and event mgr....all who were extremely impressed with the company look and how I was easy to work with.
 
A very smart man........not at all kissing butt.

I work in a small town, and I see a lot of the same photographers, caterers, etc at weddings and other events. I ALWAYS plug the venue, the food, and anything else I can, as this usually pays off. Hell, I get treated like a king after this too, which is an immediate benefit (free food, free drinks, discounts, etc). In my mind, you can never have too many friends, whether it be an acquaintence or just doing business.

To me, I should be a fun vendor to work with, no matter what.....and thats what I strive to do, unless someone makes it a point to not be friendly to me! I do not advertise at all, and am booked more than enough during the year.
 
You're a good man Karl... :)

See, your positive contributions to other vendors do pay off. I'm quite often dismayed at the negative attitudes that many have, concerning other vendors.

Being helpful and humble goes a lot further with others than being hateful and hurtful. It's better to stop and put yourself in that other person's shoes and realize that they are there to do a job, and that working together instead of against each other makes everyone's job easier.

Keep up the good work, man!
 
Jon and I are always friendly with the vendors, and we always play nicely with other vendors. At the same time, I'd rather they not just remember our friendly personalities, but also our skills at making the party happen.
 
Here's my thoughts on this.

Helping other vendors out, working as a team, communicating, that's all excellent. We've helped fold napkins because guests arrived way early before. That's playing as a team.

Sending a custom made photo card or the send out card service...that's sucking up and kissin' @$$.

Much like Anna, I don't suck up or kiss @$$. If the photog doesn't have a strong enough flash to overpower everyone else's cell phones and personal cameras, then they should probably invest in some new gear. Look at it this way...does the photographer or venue tell the guests to quiet down their conversations because the DJ didn't bring the right/enough gear?

In the end though for me it boils down to this...recommend me for the job I do...not because I kiss @$$ better than the other DJs.
 
Sending a custom made photo card or the send out card service...that's sucking up and kissin' @$$.
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You are right. But you can also call it marketing. To the best of my knowledge, I have received 8-10 weddings, 3 Halloween shows, 1 bar show and an anniversary party from that one venue since I sent that photo card of the owners Dad. Now maybe they would have done this for me without the card, but maybe the card was the icing on the cake.

I admitted it is butt kissing or sucking up but if someone tells me that they do not in some way suck up or brown nose or kiss butt at all, they are lying.

Do you ever do something you don't want to do to make your business look better? Ever go get a towel to clean up a drink, ever ask a bartender if he has a song request, ever send a thank you card to a vendor or go visit a venue to get them to know you?

That is sucking up also. If you do not do any of these things, maybe you should. It can help your business a lot.

Not ashamed of what I do. It is not illegal, it is not doing anything unethical and it helps my business. And I am sure if I didn't do a good job for the clients, the venue would know this and not recommend me.
 
Mac, I just pulled this off another thread. This is a great example of butt kissing to get the job.

You've got a chance for an active lead...like Rob said, pull the "sorry, my bad" and see if you can't land this one.
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So when you say you don't kiss butt, you actually do. Sometimes you don't realize how often you do these things. It is all programmed into our head. I just work harder to get that program to work.
 
Touché Karl. I guess I'll go a little further with an example.

At our big bridal show, every other DJ is practically throwing themselves at the Event Coordinator for one of our venues...this is the kind of butt kissing that I can't stand. Funny enough, the Event Coordinator knows who we are just from what they hear of us from their staff (the EC is never at any of the events, normally one of the two owners is though).
 
I know sometimes I go overboard but you gotta do what you gotta do.
 
Karl Langford said:
You are right. But you can also call it marketing. To the best of my knowledge, I have received 8-10 weddings, 3 Halloween shows, 1 bar show and an anniversary party from that one venue since I sent that photo card of the owners Dad. Now maybe they would have done this for me without the card, but maybe the card was the icing on the cake.

I admitted it is butt kissing or sucking up but if someone tells me that they do not in some way suck up or brown nose or kiss butt at all, they are lying.
One can effectively Network and get the results without having to Suck Up or brown nose. The way you describe what you are doing sums it up as making yourself insignificant and putting the other people on a higher pedestal than you are. Your actions should demand respect and you should not have to beg for it
Do you ever do something you don't want to do to make your business look better? Ever go get a towel to clean up a drink, ever ask a bartender if he has a song request, ever send a thank you card to a vendor or go visit a venue to get them to know you?
I do that all the time and make sure I tip the Bartenders/Waitstaff.
That is sucking up also. If you do not do any of these things, maybe you should. It can help your business a lot.
It is called common courtesy, not sucking up!
Not ashamed of what I do. It is not illegal, it is not doing anything unethical and it helps my business. And I am sure if I didn't do a good job for the clients, the venue would know this and not recommend me.
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Comments are above in Red.
 
Kirby Ball said:
You're a good man Karl... :)

See, your positive contributions to other vendors do pay off. I'm quite often dismayed at the negative attitudes that many have, concerning other vendors.
Being helpful and humble goes a lot further with others than being hateful and hurtful. It's better to stop and put yourself in that other person's shoes and realize that they are there to do a job, and that working together instead of against each other makes everyone's job easier.

Keep up the good work, man!
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Kirby,
I am curious to know what it is you mean by that statement above in Red?

In past posts of mine, I stated I don't allow venues or vendors to push me around but that does not mean to say I push them around either. I have ways of showing warmth, friendliness and comradery. I actually have them asking me for my Business Card first instead of me trying to shove it in their hands.
 
There is sucking up and then there's formal business relationships :)
 
Originally Posted by Karl Langford View Post
You are right. But you can also call it marketing. To the best of my knowledge, I have received 8-10 weddings, 3 Halloween shows, 1 bar show and an anniversary party from that one venue since I sent that photo card of the owners Dad. Now maybe they would have done this for me without the card, but maybe the card was the icing on the cake.

I admitted it is butt kissing or sucking up but if someone tells me that they do not in some way suck up or brown nose or kiss butt at all, they are lying.
One can effectively Network and get the results without having to Suck Up or brown nose. The way you describe what you are doing sums it up as making yourself insignificant and putting the other people on a higher pedestal than you are. Your actions should demand respect and you should not have to beg for it

How does it make myself insignificant? Am I not still there doing a good job, the job I was hired to do? And I know you have a problem with venues but I don't. It is their place of business and I play by their rules. I will do what I can to make each situation work for me but what you say you do with venues makes you look like you are better than anyone else involved with the event. And that is just wrong. Much more wrong than a little brown nosing to get ahead. And with photographers, I feel their job is just as important as mine so why not put them on a pedestal. Not putting them higher, just at the same level.

Do you ever do something you don't want to do to make your business look better? Ever go get a towel to clean up a drink, ever ask a bartender if he has a song request, ever send a thank you card to a vendor or go visit a venue to get them to know you?

I do that all the time and make sure I tip the Bartenders/Waitstaff.

That is sucking up also. If you do not do any of these things, maybe you should. It can help your business a lot.

It is called common courtesy, not sucking up!

Do you tip them even if they did not help you for anything? If so that is not courtesy, that is sucking up. If they served you drinks or brought your food to you then sure but if not. You are sucking up. And if you are drinking while working, that is a bad thing.

Not ashamed of what I do. It is not illegal, it is not doing anything unethical and it helps my business. And I am sure if I didn't do a good job for the clients, the venue would know this and not recommend me.
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This is just my opinion but you strike me as a "I am on better than everyone and no one belongs as high as me" kind of person/DJ. Maybe that works for you but it sure doesn't for me.
 
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