My response if Mr and Mrs. Bride and Groom only wants THEIR music...

I have had several Bride and Grooms provide a long list of suggested songs, but only once have I been asked to not deviate from their list. I was booked for 4 hours, reception was over in 2.5 hours. When people started leaving they started rushing to get all the reception events in. Several people came up and asked why I was not taking requests or playing a bunch of songs that were not good for dancing... had to tell them I was playing music specifically requested by the Bride and Groom and was asked to strictly stick to it. Most people, as did I, just thought that was funny and unusual and walked away chuckling.

You play what they pay you to play.
Ans so be it

I've had only two cases of "must stick to our large play list" from a B&G. Both ended at least one hour early.

One couple didn't flinch, while the other rushed up to me after guests started to leave in droves after the cake cutting and said to go with what I thought would work. But by then the energy was gone even though I tried my best.

On both occasions, I requested I be able to make that same announcement about "please enjoy all the pre-selected music as chosen by our B&G". Both were hesitant about it, but as the contract had not been signed, it was a make or break detail.

They agreed, but I'm sure they regretted their decision to pick ALL the music after the event was over.

I actually turned down one reception late last year because I felt uncomfortable with their large must play list.

I didn't recognize most of the songs and just got a bad feeling.

I told them since I was unfamiliar with their musical tastes, I would probably not be their best choice.

They understood my decision and thanked me for my honesty.

don't get me wrong i never turn down a job but within the last year or so when B&G say they want a certain type of music i tell them don't forget about your guest, don't forget about your ants and uncles, grandma and grandpa, they probably don't want to hear it and will leave, i end my conversation with trust me Ive done this for 16 years i know what im doing

I ask all my clients for three lists.

Must-plays (limited to 12-15 songs)
Nice-to-haves (as many as they want to list)
Do-not-plays (as long as necessary)

I then cherry-pick the nice-to-haves to mix with their must-plays.

Works for me.

Capital Disc Jockeys said:

This year especially, more and more Brides and Grooms want their own pre-selected music. Below is my email response to them and then they re-considered and changed their minds, this creating a full dance floor instead of...Well you know! Here's my response:

"Hello and good morning (Insert name of Bride and groom),

How are you? Sure, you may select the entire play list and send the list to us via email, it must be in Microsoft Word Document. However, if you do select the entire play list for the night, that means a couple of things, we have no "creative" control at all, in other words, if any one of your guests comes up to us during the night and request songs we have to decline them (Which never looks pretty)...And it also means, whatever music you two choose, your other guests may not like, and they would think we choose it...And thus, they may leave earlier than you had wished and expected.

We would also have to announce on the mic prior to any open dancing that you two have meticulously selected the music for the reception and there will be no requests. (Thanks To Cap for this part

As far as the music format, if you, the client, gave us your music it would have to be mp3 only and on a USB or CD. This is the only format our computers will play.

Hope this helps!

Tim"

Click to expand...

Excellent! :triwink:

As I have said MANY TIMES, I would turn this event down. I'm not the jukebox; I'm the DJ.

I have been in this business for over 30 years and this is a definite trend that I have been seeing most in the past 5 years or so. That trend being DJs being given long lists of songs that turns them into human Jukeboxes. Should the Bride & Groom or a couple celebrating an Anniversary have a say and help to pick out music at their event? Absolutely! However when it goes beyond their choice picks for songs like First Dance etc, its foreboding.

Here again, the DJ needs to take control. What has ALWAYS worked for me, even for the special sets/dances is that I would either share a list of songs from which the B & G can choose for First Dance, Entrance etc. Then for the rest of the event it is MY domain but I make sure I get input from the Client as to age group of the guests attending and genres of music on which to concentrate. I have sole discretion to change at any time to keep the party going.

Confidence in knowing what one can deliver based on just a few broad guidelines can help a DJ to gain more skill. Here again when I hear of or see a DJ being handed a long list of songs, it lends me to think that he/she has lost control of what is supposed to be their job. Either that or they are so happy to get the gig they will do anything including being a Human Jukebox.
I think the OP did an excellent job of turning things around and taking control

I see ego's everywhere......If you can't step down from your pedestal to tailor your clients reception to their wishes and expectations...just turn the job down. Who the hell is paying you anyway?

Sometimes they do know their crowd....If they don't...the receptions sucks...you get paid and you move on to the next.....

It's not a case of being a wuss or losing control or giving up control...It's a case of having the self confidence to know that you can pull it off.....

I've done several receptions working from a provided list of songs. I was given creative controls as to what order in which to play them. They all worked out fine....

Houston - before you get all benmt out of shape; I do talk to the clients about opening up the list to my input based on how the crowd reacts to the music. Ultimately if the client says no; I make the decision to take the event or not.

It doesn't make anyone less of a man or dj to take the event....

I like others try to get their must play list, and up front i tell them its about 15 songs an hour, so if its four hours with like 45 minutes of lite jazz and first dances , thats like 2/1/2 hours , 30 to 40 some songs max, and I have had some people give a list of 100/200 songs,,
I do tell them they can pick out songs, but If I see too many slow dreary ones I can ad upbeat ones, like 5/6 fast then slow/line dance and so on

Steve LeBlanc said:

I see ego's everywhere......If you can't step down from your pedestal to tailor your clients reception to their wishes and expectations...just turn the job down. Who the hell is paying you anyway?

Sometimes they do know their crowd....If they don't...the receptions sucks...you get paid and you move on to the next.....

It's not a case of being a wuss or losing control or giving up control...It's a case of having the self confidence to know that you can pull it off.....

I've done several receptions working from a provided list of songs. I was given creative controls as to what order in which to play them. They all worked out fine....

Houston - before you get all benmt out of shape; I do talk to the clients about opening up the list to my input based on how the crowd reacts to the music. Ultimately if the client says no; I make the decision to take the event or not.

It doesn't make anyone less of a man or dj to take the event....

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